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Hi my name is.......... Angrily I crossed it out. With a sigh, I leaned back against my flimsy pillow, setting my flashlight on the floor beside me. Glancing out the small dirty window I noted that it was still pitch black out. I didn't have a clock, or even a watch, so there was no way to tell what time it was. I didn't have anything for that matter, except this crappy ole journal my dumbass teacher gave me and a pen I picked up off the road. Maybe I should explain my situation a bit.
I'm only a 14yr old girl. I go by the name of Sin, if I were to tell you my real name I'd have to kill you...............no joke. Its just my mom and me now. Dad left years ago. Well not my actual dad if I even had one. He was gone before I was even born. We've been struggling for years, but a couple months ago we lost everything, what little we had. Mom abandoned me not long after that. Ever since I've been finding places to sleep wherever I can. Luckily enough my friend Penny had some friends she hooked me up with. The leader of them all, or at least he seems like he is, is really hot and cool. He is letting me stay at his pad. He is not here most of the day.
Finally the sun is rising. Sounds like Kay just got home. He is the one I was talking about. Glancing up, I jumped seeing him in the doorway. "Hey babe how ya doing?"he said with his slight accent. He flashed a smile his pointed teeth gleaming in the pale light. "I'm ok I guess."I replied softly entranced by his charm. "Are you cold?"he asked seeing my shiver slightly. I nodded and watched as he left. He came back with a big comforter. "I'm sorry I have nothing better than this room for you."he said softly wrapping the blanket around me. He sank down beside me, a little too close.
"Its ok. Its better than the streets."I replied, my thoughts jumbled. "That it is."he said stroking my hair gently. I noticed he was wearing a leather jacket and chaps. Kay noticed my glance. "I went for a ride. Maybe next time I'll take you."he said winking.
- by DecafKitten |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 08/30/2008 |
- Skip
- Title: My Simple Tale
- Artist: DecafKitten
- Description: The beginning of a story I'm writing.
- Date: 08/30/2008
- Tags: simple tale
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Comments (7 Comments)
- Pure_Dove - 09/11/2008
- kewl! =D
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- DecafKitten - 08/31/2008
- The part about the ride isn't anything wrong. He has a motorcycle. I didn't get a chance to add that 'cause my mom kicked me off. I haven't exactly decided where I'm going with this story yet. I'll probably post a part 2 once I get the chance to write more.
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- Pouncequick - 08/31/2008
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It's interesting, but I'm torn as to the style. Are you writing this in a journal format or as a narrative? The beginning of your story seems to be a journal entry, but you abruptly change styles.
Work on your formatting, too. You need to separate a new speaker from the old with a new paragraph. - Report As Spam
- Miyako Kiyame - 08/31/2008
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I like it, but it would be easier to read if you used punctuation as in, a new line everytime a different character talks.
Very interesting though. - Report As Spam
- ch1ps0h0y - 08/31/2008
- ah crap. i really didn't need to see that line "a little too close" along with the words "I went for a ride". >.< remember this can't go above a rating of PG-13. Still - interesting storyline.
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- Sir Devona - 08/31/2008
- Nice small story, you should have left the words "A little too close" Now It's a little predictable what might happen.
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- Schoolboyjoey101 - 08/30/2008
- nice please pm me when u continue
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