shadows of the mezozoic

• Artist: roxas-someones half
• Description: 1st page of the book im writing
• Date: 09/20/2008
• Tags: shadows mezozoic

“Should we kill it?”
“No, not yet we still need to…”


That was all I could hear. I’m glad I didn’t hear the rest of it. But I never found out what it was they planned. I didn’t care. I should of. What did I do to end up like this.

“The Mesozoic experiment” or Liam as I call myself, I am a living dienonychus, mostly. It’s a long story, of which I will not explain. All you need to know is that I have a human and a dienonychus form. My status at that time: single, bored and in a cell waiting to get out of here.
“Should we kill it?”
“No, not yet we still need to…”
Now’s my chance. The gate opens. Those two guards were out cold now, and I was out of there.
Any way, I was far away from that place now, and not going back. I spent the course of three years wandering the newer world. It is the year 2398 and I was 13. This world looks just like Pangaea, or so I've heared .

Comments

[xxcoolninjagirl]

change the beggining, what's with should we kill it?

[pretty_star16]

change the beginning. i've never heard of a story that starts with something like u wrote

[roxas-someones half]

its a flashback novel type thing
the should we kill it start is made to grab attention

[GlesgaGuBrath]

It's very choppy. There's not much flow to it...let alone good description. A lot of what you said, I have no idea what you're talking about... I'd say cut back on watching anime or reading manga or whatever it is you're doing and actually read a novel for once so you understand the concept of them...

[HforHalloween]

how many books have u read tht start w/ "should we kill it?" the reason is because thts not a good beginning, try a new start. There r a ton of fan fics and stories out there tht starts with a question like "am i dead yet?" or dialouge tht isnt really nesessary and quiet frankly if i ever read a book like tht i wld toss it, now i'mnot trying to b mean im trying to help u to make it better.

Plus it sounds like your starting from the middle of a story not a beginning

[officer lil man 89]

hhyu