• Dear Diary,

    I have loved her from afar, for far too long. And though it pains me to say so, I must carry on, to write these last few words. I have known her for my whole life, and for my whole life, I have been there for her, never faltering yet never moving forward. I was there when she married that man, when I knew it should have been me up on the alter with her but how happy she looked, that dazzling smile masked by a veil of white.
    And I know it should have been my child, she birthed that day. When I held her hand, and whispered into her ear, to carry on, to bring this life into the world for I knew it would be her last. It was I that was playing with her child, and laughing and playing when that man was too busy to even look at him. And it was I that was there at that child graduation when his father called at the last minute to announce that he wouldn't be able to make it.
    I was there when that child of hers went away to get married to a woman much like his mothers. For I could tell, by her friends eyes that he was just like me. Always there, yet never moving forward; yet loving her all along. And I was there, when small trivial matters popped up. Yet she smiled through all of them.
    Dear Lord, why have you made me love her, if you knew I could never have her? I was there, also, on the day she died. Holding my hand and smiling. Oh Natalie. My dear sweet love. My precious gem, I should have told you. Oh, I should have told you I loved you. My dear sweet love...why did you leave me?


    Trevor






    She looked beautiful. Her dark brown hair swept up into a graceful bun, resting lightly on her perfect head. Her big brown eyes looked at me, twinkling with joy and excitement. Her laugh rang out across the room, her sweet honey laugh that sent my heart aflutter. I masked the love in my eyes, she was so beautiful. Looking at her from afar was what I did, there was simply no other way I could be close to her. The veil was pulled over her face, and she giggled nervously. The beads glimmered in the bright lights of the Chapel. Gracefully she walked down that isle, every step slow and deliberate. I looked from the front row of pews as she looked at me under that thick veil. I could feel her eyes on me, the way I could for years. And here I am. Watching her marry a man who choked on his vows and spilled wine on her favorite dress. I sat in agony as he lifted the veil. Tears streamed down my face. And hers. She glanced at me as she sealed the deal. Her eyes surprised and wide. I wanted to wail, she was beyond my grasp forever. Taken by another man that was as much a bumbling idiot than an accomplished lawyer.
    "No!! Please...not him. Don't marry this man who I know will make you miserable. Please Natalie. Please..." I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. But they wouldn't come out. The words stuck to my throat liike glue, and I suffered in silence as he carried her away. To that 10 grand limo that waited outside. I sat there even after the guests had all left. I sat there when the priest came to show me out. I sast there when he left for I simply would not listen. I sat there, and when the clock tower struck twelve, I keened. For to me, she ws dead. My dear sweet love, gone from me forever. I cried my heart out, ashamed at every tear the streamed down my face.

    You deserved it.