The Shadow (extract)

• Artist: The Original Brit
• Description: It's a project I'm working on, its a paragraph of a piece of writing. enjoy!
• Date: 12/03/2008
• Tags: shadow extract

...I dashed down the narrow corridor. I heard a scrabbling at the door ahead. I looked around. Suddenly the door to the left of me smashed in a shower of splinters and debris. A howling echoed through the building. Dashing up the stairs, I knew I wouldn't be alive for long. The wolf and its brethren smelt my fear and bounded after me hungrily. I snapped my head round the manor, and found a few entrances, I thought about my home, or what remained of it. I thought of my family and what had happened to them. I horrible feeling welled up inside me. Suddenly I saw something that made me snap back into reality. A shadow slide across the floor. Then, as if a tower, if grew into an 8-foot high, jet black, four armed creature. It stood drooling, vicious, hissing and a vile manor. It stared at me, with and evil glint in it's eye...

Comments

[The Original Brit]

1. yes i am fred_caravans twin
2. Hey, im only 12!!!
3. my idol is darren shan!

[Nitoku]

since it's only a short outline of what the actual story it slides over the"I have no idea what's going on"thing...this seems exiting.I will await the full story.

[IcyWolfling]

Fun! It's not bad, but...

- Too many things going on for one poor little paragraph, and one tense hiccough.
- Towers usually don't grow into massive BEMs.
- And why the starting ellipses?
- It's hard to crit properly when I don't know the context. Why don't you try posting the whole in the Writer's Forum?

[high on jelly babies]

YAY! 1st Comment! He's my twin! aren't you! smile