- Brian looked around. He was in a small, round ball that contained white lotus's all over it. He looked around and he realized he was in an old fashioned garden. Flowers where everywhere and a small dog was barking happily. He saw a little girl running next to the dog. The little girl had short black hair, and sparkling hazel eyes. The little girl looked back and gasped. Brian looked where she was staring at in horror and realized why she was in horror. It appeared that the other girl on the floor was her sister and the woman who was on top of the other girl was her mother. The mother had a long, narrow sword in her back and a large man was biting her. The scenery was dark at night. The large man was indeed a vampire. The word made him feel uneasy. The man laughed and looked at the little girl standing. He smiled and flew off in the night. The little girl was left alone and she started crying. The man appeared behind her and bit her also. Her hazel eyes turned a deep, dark red. Her short black hair turned a silvery white. Almost like the color of snow. She fainted and her body returned back to human form and the man disappeared once more into the night.
- by x___Mizz Sparkly Sunshin3 |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 12/30/2008 |
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- Title: Fallen Angels
- Artist: x___Mizz Sparkly Sunshin3
-
Description:
Well, this is just the first chapter of a book I'm writing with my cousins. I thought that gaia should be the first website that hears my story. The story is based off of my own life. The abilities I have that god gave me and my cousins.
Sorry, if this description offends you. Send me a PM if it does or comment me either here, or my profile. - Date: 12/30/2008
- Tags: fantasyfiction vampires
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Comments (5 Comments)
- Zariah Khi - 02/20/2009
- so cool
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- Pyrrhic Victini - 02/19/2009
- I would suggest to differ the choice of words between the sentences so that it flows better, as well as the sentence length. Such as: "He saw a little girl running next to the dog. *She* had short black hair, and sparkling hazel eyes. The little girl looked back, *horrified.* Brian looked where she was staring and realized *why she seemed so frightened.*"
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- CuPiDlOvBuNnY - 02/02/2009
- Nice .......
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- hinata hyuga fan-me - 01/01/2009
- nice, not offensive...except 4 the vampire part. but thats ok...i guess
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- God of the Planet-Eater - 12/30/2008
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very good story so far.
5/5 - Report As Spam