• tab "The polar bears are coming! The polar bears are coming!" I said, as I ran down through the streets of Manhatten. "Run away! They're coming!"
    tab "Oh no!" Ashley said. "We have to do something!"
    tab I turned around and faced the direction where the polar bears were coming from. "Let's get out the sniper rifle!" I took a tiny gun out from my pocket and aimed it.
    tab "Are you kidding?" Ashley screamed. "That's so small!"
    tab "Watch this," I said. I fired the gun up in the air. It let out a bang and the bullet went high.
    tab "That still doesn't explain how strong it is," Ashley said. If it is strong, that is."
    tab "It is," I said, and at that, the polar bears were in sight. They were stampeding through New York City like their lives depended on it.
    tab Ashley screamed. I carefully aimed the gun, and... no more bullets.
    tab "No more bullets," I said.
    tab Ashley took a deep breath and screamed again. Then we ran like the wind, trying to find a safe spot to hide. The polar bears were hot on our tail.
    tab Eventually we ran into a Chinese restaurant. The polar bears stampeded right outside the door.
    tab "Phew," I said. "That was close."
    tab "Yeah," Ashley said. "Hey, we ran into a Chinese restaurant, yay!"
    tab "Psh," I said. "Italian restaurants are still better."
    tab "Oh yeah, if the person who owns this place is a hot Chinese guy, and you think he's hot, I'm gonna laugh in your face!"
    tab "Yeah, I don't think so, because we are leaving here and going to an Italian restaurant where we are going to meet - actually, make that I am going to meet - a hot Italian guy!"
    tab Ashley: **big gasp** "Why do you get the hot Italian guy?"
    tab "Because! And he's not just a hot Italian guy, he's a Hot Italian Guy! With capitals!"
    tab "Oh whatever! Just as long as I get him!"
    tab "Not on your -"
    tab Just then, Hot Chinese Guy entered the room.
    tab "Ni hao! Would you two like something?"
    tab "Woah, he is kinda hot, " I said. Yeah, you! I thought.
    tab "Are you kidding??? Hey dude, a bunch of freaken polar bears just ran past here! Call freaken 911!"
    tab "Woah, Ashley, watch your language," I said. "Umm... yeah, she's kinda right though."
    tab "Woah! I'll call 911!" The Hot Chinese Guy ran to the back of the restaurant to call 911.
    tab "He's an idiot," Ashley said.
    tab "He's hot," I said drooling. "Such sexy hair -"
    tab "Oh come on! Let's go to an Italian restaurant so you can stare at guys of your own kind."
    tab Me: **big gasp** "Oh that was mean! I'm not full Italian, you know! And if I think Chinese guys are hot then I think Chinese guys are hot! You don't have to be so -"
    tab "All Chinese guys? Even Russell?"
    tab "WOAH! OH HELL NO!"
    tab "Case settled. Let's get out of here."
    tab So we left the Chinese restaurant. We couldn't find any Italian restaurants, though.
    tab "What're we gonna do?" Ashley asked. "Those polar bearsare probably terrorizing the Lower East Side by now."
    tab "There's nothing we really can do," I said. "Although, I could buy more ammo and take down the polar bears myself."
    tab "Or maybe we'll get lucky and a giant black cloud will kill the polar bears!"
    tab "What? That's perposterous."
    tab "Hey, it happened on that TV show, Lost."
    tab "Yeah, well, that's a TV show. Wait... the black cloud didn't kill the polar bear, the black cloud came way after the polar bear... the polar bear was shot. Which is exactly whay I have to go buy ammunition."
    tab "Whatever. Let's go."
    tab "Wait, I wanna wait for that guy to come back. Actually, you could go if you want... well, you should go..."
    tab "Why? What're you gonna..."
    tab "You know," I said smiling.
    tab "Eww! That's statiatory rape."
    tab "Whatwhatwhat?"
    tab "Fancy term for, 'you can't ******** him 'cause he's an adult.' No one wants a half-half kid anyway!"
    tab "WOAH! Hello, your half-half!"
    tab "Oh...right..."
    tab The Hot Chinese Guy came back.
    tab "I called 911. They're on their way."
    tab "Great. Hey, come here... -"
    tab "Come on, Alexis!" Ashley said, grabbing my hand.
    tab "Dude, I was just kidding..."
    tab "Ammo, remember!"
    tab "Right!"

    tab So me and Ashley were looking for stores with ammunition for my sniper rifle. We find a convience store and ask them if they have .22 caliber bullets.
    tab "Um... what?" the clerk at the counter asked.
    tab "Bullets! Give me some!" I said.
    tab "Don't be rude!" Ashley said.
    tab "Uh... this is a convience store..."
    tab "Yeah, and bullets would be a real convnience for me!" I said. I took out the gun and aimed it at the clerk.
    tab "Help!" the clerk said, raising her hands.
    tab I lowered the gun and gawked open-mouthed at the clerk. "Hello? There are no bullets in this gun! I'm trying to buy some, duh!"
    tab Ashley buried her face in her hands.
    tab "Well, I'm sorry, but this tiny little convenince store doesn't sell bullets."
    tab "What if we told youthere's a herd of polar bears devastating Manhatten right now?"
    tab "Psh. Yeah right."
    tab "No, seriously," Ashley said.
    tab "What? You're kidding, right? Ahhhhhh!"
    tab "What? You believe her?"
    tab The clerk stopped waving her hands and running around in circles. "Well, yeah. See, she's the good one."
    tab Ashley smiled a wide, semicircle-shaped smile with lots of shiny white teeth. A golden halo seemed to appear over her head, and she seemed to light up with a bright light. Wierd.
    tab "We seriously have to get that big crack in the ceiling fixed," the clerk said.
    tab "C'mon, Ashley. We need to find ammunition before the polar bears kill us all."
    tab "Wait!" the clerk said. She was fumbling with a tiny stone age TV. "I think the news is saying something about the polar bears!"
    tab A crappy picture came up on the ancient box. Crappy sound came from the speakers.
    tab "We're here live today from the Hudson River, where reports came in about polar bears plunging into the river for no reason at all," the reporter said. "They seem to have been rampaging all through Manhatten uncontrollably until they all jumped in and swam away. It was a mysterious phenomenon and no one knows where the polar bears came from, just that **cshshshhh**"
    tab "What were those last words? All I heard was 'cshshshhh,' " Ashley said.
    tab "Damn static. What the hell is this load of crap anyway?" I said.
    tab "It's a TV. He probably said 'just that they were here.' That seems logical."
    tab "No it's not a TV! It's a freaken stone age, jurassic era, caveman-built piece of crap!"
    tab "Excuse her language," Ashley said.
    tab "Well the good news is that the polar bears are gone!" the clerk said.
    tab "Pppsch," I said.

    tab We walked over to the Hudson River. There were reporters with their cameras, pedestrians looking into the river, and just about everything but any traces of the polar bears. No path of destruction. No footprints, no ravaged buildings, nothing.
    tab "This is odd," I said.
    tab "I know, I can't believe there's no footprints left behind, it's so wierd!" Ashley said.
    tab "No, not that! That guy over there, he's really hot."
    tab Ashley looked where I was looking (staring), then looked back at me with that "What?" expression. "What's that got to do with... how's that odd? That's just you being perverted."
    tab "Umm... okay that's not odd, I just wanted to say something like that so you'd think I was talking about the polar bears." I smiled and nodded very cool-like even though what I was saying made no sense.
    tab "Okay..."
    tab We looked over the edge of the Hudson.
    tab "Dude... nothing. Not even a feather." Now of course I said that.
    tab "What?! Feathers?!" Ashley said, looking at me with the "What?" face.
    tab "Polar bears can have feathers."
    Ashley kept looking at me but said nothing.
    tab "How do you think they keep warm?"
    tab "... fur..."
    tab I turned around and talked to a reporter. "Hey dude, did you see any feathers lyin' around?"
    tab Ashley smacked her forehead.
    tab "Uhh... no... why?"
    tab "Because I think these polar bears are mutant polar bears from the planet Kamdar and they must've been covered in feathers instead of fur."
    tab "How do you figure that?"
    tab "Because all Kamdarian polar bears have feathers."
    tab "Uhh... what... ever..."
    tab "Come on, Alexis!" Ashley said, pulling me away from the reporter, and the hot guy.
    tab "Awww! Can't I at least talk to that guy? At least he's white! **cough**'cause your rascist**cough**"
    tab Ashley looked at me. "Fine. good luck. He's way out of your league. And I'm not rascist!"
    tab "Shut up! And you are too... just kidding!" I walked over to the hot guy. He had straight brown hair, kinda longish, and brown eyes (yesh i could notice his eyes). He was tall, which totally enhanced his sexiness. Damn, Ashley was right, he was way out of my league. Yeah whatever.
    tab He was alone, watching the commotion from afar (sexy azz loner boy). So i simply walked up to him from behind, then stood next to him. Not too close, of course.
    tab Ashley giggled from where she was standing. "Oh my god, Alexis!" she said to herself.
    tab He looked at me. "Hi," I said.

    tab So I said "hi" to the hot guy. He said "hi" back. Ashley was within earshot, so naturally she listened in.
    tab "The polar bears could be mutants," he said. Such a sexy deep voice, I thought.
    tab Alexis is thinking he has a sexy deep voice, Ashley thought. Now she's probably thinking about things I do not want to think about.
    tab "Yeah. I mean they have to be. Why else could they be here?" Our eyes met. His glasses made him look so hot. "Wait, you heard what I said?"
    tab "Yeah. Then your friend dragged you off. You know, you two look so different. You look like the type to talk back to people, and she looks like the type to be geting you out of trouble. And she kinda has an angel-like aura about her, right?"
    tab "Riiiiight. You can just see that big goody-two-shoes smile and shiny golden halo."
    tab He laughed. "My name's Keith, by the way." He extended his hand.
    tab "Alexis." I shook his hand. "And my friend is Ashley. She's stoopid. Don't listen to her no matter what she says." I stuck out my tounge and winked.
    tab He laughed again. "You're cute. Well I gotta go. It's getting late. Bye!"
    tab "Bye!" I watched as he walked down the street, then turned the corner.
    tab Ashley walked up to me. "So?"
    tab "He's hooooooottttttt..."
    tab "Forget about that! How'd it go? The crowd was making too much noise. What's his name?"
    tab "Keith. He's hoooo -"
    tab "Enough already! What did you talk about?"
    tab "He agrees with me that the polar bears might be mutant. And he's hot."
    tab "Ugh. He's perfect for you."
    tab "I know! But I don't know if I'll ever see him again..." That made me sad. Saaaddd...
    tab "Whatever. Let's go home, It's late."
    tab "That's what he said!"
    tab "...oh really?"
    tab "No not that, he said it's late. If he wanted me to go home with him, I'm sorry, but I would've ditched you."
    tab "That's ok. You need to get laid." She smiled in an evil way.
    tab "Shut the f*ck -"
    tab "Watch your language!!!"
    tab "You coulda let me have my way with the guy at the restaurant..."
    tab "Didn't I tell you that's rape?"
    tab "Goddamn laws..."
    tab "It's ok Alexis. That guy was hotter anyway."
    tab "Hey, he's mine! He called me cute!"
    tab "Congradulations."
    tab We walked away from the Hudson River towards our apartments. I was getting hungry.
    tab "Think they'll ever find out what the deal is with the polar bears?" I asked.
    tab "Probably not. It's not like there's any evidence here, and we can't travel to other planets to look for clues."
    tab "Right. I want fast food. Maybe someone's open."
    tab "Yeah me too, let's try McDonald's."
    tab So we go looking for somewhere to eat. All the while I couldn't stop thinking about the polar bears. And the hot guy. But why were the polar bears here? Are they going to kill us all, the whole planet? And where did they go? The Hudson River leads... somewhere. Maybe the polar bears are living under the sea in a cave where they're planning world domination. And they can breathe underwater. And have feathers.
    tab Oh well. I guess we'll never know...