• FRIEND (he is flipping through some comic pages): You know what Jason?
    JASON (pops in some hot kernel popcorn in his mouth): What, Ned?
    NED (he points at GNASH MONTSER in the comic page): He's ugly.
    JASON (nods): You're absolutely right my friend. In fact, he's as ugly as Jordan Hulbert. No, uglier. And that's really hard to beat.
    NED (nods too): We must destroy him before he blinds everyone's eyes of his hideousness. Yes, we'll use our super gadget powers.
    JASON (shouts): YES WE SHALL! We shall beat His Ugliness with. . . (turns to his friend) What are our super powers?
    NED (shrugs): I really do not know, Best Friend. But please, I insist on being Ninja Weapon.
    JASON (snorts): NINJA WEAPON?!? Come on, you've got to get a better name than that! For instance, I CALL FIRST DIBS ON THE NAME SUPERGUY!
    NED (doubles over in his side in laughter): You my friend, is just the most hilarious geek I've ever seen and heard about. SUPERGUY? Now WHAT kind of name is THAT?
    JASON (defensively shouts): YOU JUST INSULTED THE MOST AWESOMENESS NAME IN THE WORLD EVER CREATED!!!!
    NED (shouts back): ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WHAT ABOUT NINJA WEAPON? MY NAME HAS FEELINGS TOO!!!!! DID YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THAT?
    JASON (spits out): Just get out of here, You-No-Longer-My-Friend, Friend.
    NED (sweeps out of the room in a flourish): I'm most happy to.
    ****
    LATER
    JASON (bellows out, dark blue cape flying over his shoulders): NEVER FEAR, SUPERGUY IS HERE!!!
    OLDER SISTER (flips over her blond hair and irritated, shifts into a more comfortable position in the chair with her TEEN VOGUE magazine and mimics in a squeaky voice): HERE TO SAVE YOUR BURNING PANTYHOSES AND FIGHT OFF ENDLESS ANTS!
    JASON (happily shouts): Exactly! (and slaps Jessica)
    JESSICA (shrieks): WHAT WAS THAT FOR, GEEK?!
    JASON (steps back, confused): what for what for?
    JESSICA (shooting daggers at him with her eyes) THAT! FOR SLAPPING MY FACE!
    JASON (shooks his head at her): It's not my fault you didn't raise your hand up for a high five.
    JESSICA (moans/shrieks and stomps up to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her): YOU'RE SO ANNOYING, JASON!
    JASON (takes a deep flourishing bow): Happy to be in service, madam.
    (just then, a burning odor fills the air)
    JASON (hollers): OH NO! SOMETHING IS BURNING! I MUST GO!
    (he runs off into the kitchen) NEVER FEAR! SUPERGUY IS HERE!
    (investigates what causes the smoke)
    JASON (backs away): Uh-oh. (that was his burning breakfast of the toaster burning!! He hollers): JASON WAS NEVER HERE! (and hightails back to his room charging with outstretched arms)
    ******
    JASON (hollers a Tarzan yell): NEVER FEAR! SUPERGUY IS HERE! (he runs all over the beach shore like a wild man, or, actually, a boy. He looks at a line of waddling ducks that were waddling to the shore of the water)
    JASON (barks out): HAVE YOU DONE ANY CRIMES LATELY, WADDLING DUCKS
    (of course, the ducks pays no attention to him and keeps on walking)
    JASON (frowns): That was very quite rude, ducks. I'm afraid I'll have dispose of you creatures.
    (with that, he charges forward)
    (quacks, honks, and ducks scatter)
    JASON (yells): YEAH, YOU BETTER RUN! RUN AWAY FROM THE GREAT SUPERGUY, BAD ONES! I JUST DISPOSED YOU!!! (shakes his rear end at them)
    (an excruciating pain explodes in his behind)
    JASON (jumps five feet up in the air): AAAARRRGGGHHH!!! (and runs off, leaving a huge satisfied duck smiling behind)
    THE END