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The Vision
Jordan looks at the dead bird with disinterest. “It's a dead bird Victoria.” He points out dully.
“I know that!” Victoria snaps back. “Look at the way its stomach is ripped open, It looks like the work of a cat or something.”
“Whatever I’m going home, don’t stare at that bird for too long” Jordan replies coolly and begins walking down the street.
It was 3:00pm when Jordan and Victoria where walking home, Victoria noticed a dead bird on the side of the road and Victoria made a big fuss about it. It’s not fair; I always have to deal with stupid Victoria babbling over the simplest things. He thought. He knew he didn’t feel that way about Victoria but he kept walking on, past the sun dried sidewalk and into the dark alley.
He was halfway down the alley way when he heard a chuckle, a chilling laugh that scraped his eardrums. “Who is that?” Jordan pulls out a Swiss army knife. “Victoria? Victoria is that you? This isn’t funny, Victoria!?!?” Jordan shouted. A wind blew through the alley and Jordan’s soul froze, Victoria approached him through the dark except it wasn’t Victoria, her face was pale and lifeless, she had scars all across her body and she was sopping wet. “Victoria?” Jordan asked. Her mouth was stitched shut; she raises a finger to her lips.
A scream echoes throughout the alley, its Victoria’s voice. Jordan runs out of the alley to find a man wrestling Victoria, trying to get her into his van. Jordan runs faster than his athletic ability allows him, an adrenalin rush keeps pushing him forward and something else too, love. Jordan jumps at Victoria’s attacker brandishing his knife. Catching his opponent by surprise he goes straight for the throat, the attacker punches Jordan in the face and turns his attention back to Victoria laughing a deep throaty sadistic laugh.
This was the laugh Jordan heard in the alley way, the ear piercing sound, warbled by the premonition of Victoria’s death. Motivated by passion and fear Jordan leaps up and slashes at the attacker’s throat again, this time he was successful, the blade slicing through the soft flesh of his throat and into his jugular vein. The man falls, and hits the pavement. Victoria is crying silently, tears roll down her face, Jordan sits and comforts her. “I told you shouldn’t stare at that bird to long.” Jordan mumbles. They both laugh and look to where the bird had been. It was gone. They both stare at each other and then look up. A bird is flying into the horizon, and they sat there, Victoria’s head resting in Jordan’s lap watching the sun set and the bird fly out of sight into the warm sky.
- by _Three_Tears_Undead_ |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 01/29/2009 |
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![](https://graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/arena-images/ic_paper_corner_32x32.gif)
- Title: The Vision
- Artist: _Three_Tears_Undead_
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Description:
A small story I came up with one day, not my best work, but I'm proud enough of it to post it.
I seriously do not care if you dont like this short story, because it is NOT MY BEST WORK! My other better writtings are in process or are private. - Date: 01/29/2009
- Tags: vision
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Comments (4 Comments)
- _Three_Tears_Undead_ - 08/11/2009
- thanks everybody I really appreciate the nice constructive comments, but i just noticed something, My time was all wrong, i say the story takes place at 3:00pm-in the summer-and at the end the sun is setting. now I based the setting off a way I walk home from school, and it takes about 10 minutes to get to the alley way, so the time of which the story ended should be at 3:20 or so i he walked to the alley and ran back. Sorry for this error that only probably noticed ^^
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- _Three_Tears_Undead_ - 03/12/2009
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thanks, i was thinking about the "victoria noticed..." begining but I like starting things differently so yea, Im glad you liked it
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- Adriana Pineda - 02/05/2009
- wow it was really good
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- Held In Focus - 01/29/2009
- That's definately interested. I was sucked in at "Who is that?!" in the second paragraph. I think it would be good to start the story with "Victoria noticed the dead bird on the side of the road," then maybe start describing it or something. It is good though, and it's a very nice start.
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