- Whooh! I had to get out of there! But it was so fast!!! I ran, but, i wasn't fast enough! It grabed me! But it was draging me.. and... and... something, and it hurt! It was my legs! It was tighting on my legs. And i was out. But when i woke up, it wasen't new york anymore. Where am i!? i thought to myself. Then i noticed something. I was in a spaceship! but not a normal E.T. U.F.O thing. And i was hanging by a torture thing. And i noticed i was next to a woman, and her BABY! Then the persone next to her was a man. And the thing infront of him started to sweeeerrrr!!! then it went right though him!!! then we all jerked up 1 spot. And! END OF PART 4! PART 5 IWILL BE COMING SOON!
- by Tanner The Killer Panda |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 02/20/2009 |
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- Title: the nightmere will never end!
- Artist: Tanner The Killer Panda
- Description: (part 4)
- Date: 02/20/2009
- Tags: nightmere will never
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Comments (2 Comments)
- carlycrf - 02/21/2009
- oh my god tanner that is so good!!!!!! ur such a good writer, i dont care bout paragraphs or spelling that is too good to care about it!!!
- Report As Spam
- Kat Rukkus - 02/20/2009
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Funny. My old user was Your_Dark_Damsel and you're night of death.
But being a serious author I will be completely honest with you. I'm not trying to be a complete smartass critic or nothing, just giving pointers. Constructive Criticism.
For starters; Spelling and grammar, definately. I'm a huge grammar nut, ask my friends.
The idea sounds really cool but use stuff like paragraphs and make it a little more detailed to organize it...
Happy Writing~! - Report As Spam
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