• There I was, staring down the barrel of a loaded pistol again. An angry fat italian man with a greasy mustache wich almost looked clean in comparison to his face stared down at me enraged. I had know idea who he was or why he had decided to shove a Colt 45 revolver in my face, but he looked pissed, and that's all that mattered. The house music in the club was blaring so loud I doubt anyone would even hear the gunshot. The fact that the smoke that was surrounding us was illuminated by a strobe light once only every three seconds diddn't help either.

    That's when he said it, or rather, shouted it at the top of his lungs, "You slept with my wife, you pice of scum!", his gaudy gold chain tightened and loosed with every word as the tendons in his neck protruded and then retracted, his spittle flying towards my face. His cheap hawaiin shirt was drenched in sweat and it was easy to see that the lighting was making him nausious. It wasn't hard to tell why his wife decided to cheat on him. The sad part was, I diddn't even know who his wife was.

    Typical. I was going to die at the hands of an enraged husband over some dumb blonde who's name I couldn't remember. I reclined into the plush sofa and prepared myself for the gunshot. Knowing there was no way I could smooth talk my way out of this one, I lit a cigar and slowly drew a nice long, hard drag. I was ready, in fact I was eager, I had always wondered if God was a woman. I had also wondered if I could seduce her.

    This day dream was quickly ended by the sound of a gunshot, crisp and clean...my ears were ringing and all i could do was curse profusely. It was in the middle of me clutching my ears and swearing like a sailor that i realized that i was alive. I looked up to see a woman who looked like the russian fem-fatale out of a James Bond movie. I knew this woman...it was the fat man's wife. Tall and beautiful, the blonde lowered her gun and took a seat beside me, the slit in her white dress coming up just enough to be tantalizing.

    She picked up my cigar that had fallen out of my mouth as I was swearing my heart out and took a drag. Wearily, I reclined again and gazed upon the dead fat man, his blood was now forming a pool around his head. The russian sex symbol leaned over and wispered into my ear, "Thanks, i've been meaning to do this for a long time." She stood up and proceded to leave the club and I watched her gracefull exit with awe.

    I was so releived to be alive that I diddn't notice the police storming in through the doorway. Before i knew it I was on my knees and on my way to jail. "This is the price i pay," I thought,"for being a playboy."