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“Alone again?” a mysterious voice called out to me from the shadows. I was sitting in a circle of pale grey light surrounded by blackness. I tried to penetrate the darkness but even with my perfect senses I could not see anything. Then as if there was a curtain around me a tall pale woman in a white flowing dress stepped out of the shadows.
“My dear why do you come here alone?” she said in a voice that seemed strangely detached from her body.
“I don’t really think I came here.” I said still looking around. “Where is here anyways.” I asked.
“This place is the darkness of the world brought together.” She said gesturing around us. I looked at her pale face with her deep-set ice blue eyes and light blonde hair.
“Why are you here?” I asked. She just didn’t seem like the type of person to be in this….Darkness.
“I am here to help you.” She said.
“Okaaaay…then who are you?” I asked.
“Oh but that question you already know the answered to.” She said.
“What? No I don’t, I have no idea who you are.” I said. She looked worried; she shook her head and looked at me with sorrow.
“Are you sure you don’t know who I am? Think about it, really think about it.” she said.
“No I don’t know who you are.” I said again. I think I would have remembered someone so pretty.
“So are you going to tell me who you are?” I asked.
“I can’t my dear child.” She said.
“Can you tell me why I'm here?” I asked.
“That is a question even I don’t know the answer to.” She said. Off into the distance I heard someone calling my name.
“I think I have to go now.” I stood up not really sure where I was going to go. The woman regarded me sadly then turned around and started back into the shadows.
“Wait!” I reached out to her, but I quickly pulled my hand back; I wasn’t sure if she was actually there and it would freak me out if my hand went through her.
“Yes?” she said, turning back to me a little.
“Will I see you again?” I said.
“I'm sure you will young one, I'm sure you will.” She said before she turned around again and disappeared. The darkness started to disintegrate and it was replaced with blinding light. I blinked a few times and then I was in my room.
“Rosalie come on, wake up!” My best friend and housemate Beka said as she opened the curtains.
“I thought vampires couldn’t sleep.” She said.
“Really Beka, I am not a vampire from Twilight don’t get the names mixed up.” I said groggily standing out of my bed in one swift motion.
“Whoa!” I said as I fell down on the floor.
“What the heck?” Beka said.
“Sorry, head rush.” I explained. I stood up slowly.
“Okay so you don’t sleep but I know you are supposed to be graceful.” She said. I looked around my room; the complete opposite of my dream. My floor was a plush white carpet and my walls were bright purple. The only black things in my room were my bed and the majority of my clothes.
“We should go shopping today.” Beka said as she walked out of my room.
“Why?” I said going over to my closet and sifting through my clothes.
“Because school starts in a four days and this is our senior year. Got to be perfect” She said.
“I don’t want to have to go through my senior year again and we already are perfect.” I said. This was probably the sixth senior year I’ve had.
“I don’t want to either but we kind of have to keep up the façade.” She said, her voice was muffled because I was all the way in the back of my closet.
“Ah ha!” I said as I pulled out a black Dupioni silk party dress.
“What are you doing?” Beka asked eyeing the dress I wore.
“I haven’t fed in a while and I'm going out of town to do it.” I said.
“What’s with the dress?” she asked.
“I'm going to a party.” I said.
“Really!? You’re going to seduce a man at a party?” she asked.
“Yep. Want to come?” I asked.
“Sure.” She said. she snapped her fingers and she was wearing a dark blue satin cocktail dress.
“Damn it!” she said. She was looking down; I followed her gaze.
“Ha.” I said. She was wearing bunny slippers.
“I just can’t seem to get shoes right.” She said. “Can I borrow a pair of shoes?” she asked. She didn’t own any clothes because she could just make them appear.
“For being a pixie your magic isn’t the best.” I said.
“Ha, Ha” she said. We walked to my room and I went into the closet.
“Here.” I said. I handed her a pair of midnight blue heels. She sat on my bed and began to put them on. I put my own black stilettos on.
“Nice.” She said.
“This is going to be too easy.” I said looking in the mirror. I had curled my copper colored hair last night and now the curls hung loosely around my face. I didn’t have to wear make-up, but I did put a little black eyeliner on around my bright emerald eyes.
“Lets go.” I said.
- Title: Untouched Memories
- Artist: Aj Boi
- Description: Okay its not finished actually its barely started but i want to know what you think....so comment please.
- Date: 04/09/2009
- Tags: untouched memories
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Comments (2 Comments)
- Aj Boi - 04/11/2009
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Thanks for the criticism
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- Emanuelle Simoen - 04/10/2009
- I would say it has too much dialogue, and I think you write with a very common sort of voice. It also had very arrogant/conceited undertones, which isn't so great when you're writing in the first person. I'd love to see more originality, honestly. Just some friendly criticism. smile
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