Damp ally

• Artist: shadow11391
• Description: this is a story starter I wortefor my english class Im not the best speller though so sorry for any misspelling. plz comment i apperciate any criticisim
• Date: 05/23/2009
• Tags: damp ally

As I walked down the damp ally I paused. There were hushed whispers in a revengful tone. A persons figure ran past me. BOOM an explosion near by. My lungs filled with chalky air. Sulfer and fiery smoke hung on my nose. I was scared for my life as brunt pieces of glass fell down on me. Acold air filled my bones something wasn't right I needed to get out of here fast.

Comments

[Yushi-senpai]

its good to use short lines for impact but in my opinion there are too many, so try using a bit more punctuation. thats just my opinion though, but carry on going anyway its pretty good

[Holl The Loveer]

It's a good starter. You should contine.
P.s. If you're worried about spelling try to type it it microsorf word if you have it. That's what I do. =]