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My Book Beginning: Beast
The Beast was a simple man. Well, used to be a simple man. Some people argue if Beasts existence was real. He was, you see, a mercenary, an excellent man of killing and not getting caught. He had some help though. There was X of course. He and “X” had been partner’s since they broke out of Mar’s High Security Prison. “X” was his spy. Then there was Eyes. Eyes was, well, the eyes of the team. And the Tech. Computer Tech. Mechanical Tech. Anything to do with machines or gadgets, this was your man. Well anyway, Beast and X were on a mission, A personal mission. Each of them was looking for the man who had killed both of their families. Ghai. Ghai was the most evil, most diabolical, and the most wicked nemesis they had ever faced. Eyes was covering their tracks on his laptop.
“Well don’t you look terrible,” commented X. It was true. Beast hadn’t gotten any sleep since they found Ghai. He was wearing a plain, dark black, shirt. Midnight black baggy pants, a black trench coat, and his favorite black hat. X however was wearing baggy black camouflage pants a black no sleeved, skin tight shirt, and a black combat jacket. He had no hat. His hair was neck length and midnight black. He was unconsciously playing with a long black knife as they walked, twisting and flip it in his hand, his right hand. They had been planning this mission for months and finally after following Ghai and his minion’s trail, they were finally about to infiltrate his hidden base. The excitement Beast felt was bubbling; he had to work hard to keep from yelling in excitement. X’s own excitement did not show, if he had any, for his face was kept indifferent.
Beast almost fell into a hole, he had to stay more aware. “Keep focusing on the mission,” he told himself. Can’t mess up now, he is too close. They wandered further into the forest, the smell of musky moss and ancient wood in the air. The air was sticky and humid. They came across no wildlife, which Beast didn’t take notice of. Soon Beast got the feeling they were being watched. He stopped for a moment and looked around. Was there a glint in the brush to his right or were his eyes playing tricks on him. He went up to X and whispered “I think we’re bein watched,” X whispered back “Me too, be on your guard, and get ready,” Suddenly hundreds of ninja stars flew out of the trees. X and Beast dodged most of them, and about ten ninja’s jumped out and threw a few stars each. Five hit Beast, and seven hit X. Beast tried to get back up, but the stars had been poisoned and he couldn’t move. He heard the ninja’s talking “Yeah, I think these are the two boss was talking ‘bout,” Said Ninja 1. Ninja 2 replied “I hope zese zare zee two ze vas talking about, else vwell be zin great trouble, ja?” “Yeah if these aren’t it well get lashin’s or worse, maybe get the shot,” Said Ninja 3. “Guys stop worryin, these are it, they match the descriptions and how many people would be out here? This one” he kicked X “looks like the X guy, “he walked over to Beast, and kicked him in the side, hard, he had to bite his tongue to keep from gasping. “And this looks like ‘The Beast’, or whatever, haha some beast he is now!” Beast tried to keep listening but his consciousness slipped away, the last thing he hard was “Ok load them in the truck we’ll take them to out sub-base prison and then we’ll bring them to Ghai, he’ll be pleased,” said a voice. He could no longer distinguish the voices. And he slipped into a deep sleep.
- Title: The Beast
- Artist: Azira Kur
- Description: Part 1 of my book idea, still in the works,
- Date: 06/29/2009
- Tags: first part beast
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Comments (2 Comments)
- Lord Drago - 07/02/2009
- Flow is important to anyone who takes writing seriously. Work on the variety of your prepositions and pronouns, try using synonyms instead of generic terms, and don't forget to be punctual. And you may need to work a little with your capitalization.
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- meerodi - 06/29/2009
- It sounds like it could be an interesting story. But you should work on going over your story and revising it so it flows more easily
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