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Chapter One
Walking home the night of the Change. On the first day of winter, though I didn't know it was. The chill's that covered my spine quickly changed to fear. My head swiftly moved over my shoulder. Feeling the pain, that ran through my neck to my head. It was unbearable. I couldn't catch my breath. It all went black.
The warm bed comforter was being place on top of me. I heard these sounds, as if it were a drill. I could feel my hair's raising against the cold floor. Foot-steps. It was all that filled my ears now. Staring into the darkness, fully awake.
Instantly dimmed lights shone in my face. Pure white hand's reached in. They wrapped around my wrist. They were stiff, rough, and cold. The dimmed lights shone off his face. His bright blue eye's that stared at me. The caring, compassionate face of love.
I could hear his heart race as he stared at me. Staring back at him I noticed he was really good looking. He could probably hear my heart race to act as one with his.
"Hi," I quickly got out of his arm's. "Wait! What am I doing here?" I asked, shaking my head.
He looked at me with worry in his eye's. "I'm so sorry," he turned around to hide his tears. I could hear him sobbing. I quickly wrapped my arm around him. "Don't look at me!" he screamed.
I turned around sad and hurt. I was only trying to help him I thought. My throat burned for something, but I couldn't put my finger on it. "Blood," was the word that came out of his mouth.
No, No. I thought to my self it can't be true. He held out his wrist. My instinct took over. I quickly grabbed onto him. The sweet liquid that filled my mouth. I closed my eye's. A box. Sitting on the floor, in my imagination. I walked to the box, and opened it. Nothing. It was empty.
What is this feeling I had?
I don't know. Was this a link? Was I psychic? it was all that ran though my head.
My thirst was subdued. I opened my eyes to his beautiful face. I quickly grabbed onto him. Our lips slowly meet. It was weird. 'Cause he was an older man. Probably like a hundred years old. The way his lips tasted. A sweet settle taste that lasted forever.
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- by coldwater25 |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 07/11/2009 |
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- Title: Twice Shy Once Bitten Chp. One
- Artist: coldwater25
- Description: Sixteen year old Ivy Moore has lived a normal life, until the day she died. Brought back through immortality and one lustful bite. When Justin Hansen the one who turned her, leaves. All hell breaks loose. PLZ comment i take critzime yea i know i spelt tat wrong lol
- Date: 07/11/2009
- Tags: twiceshyoncebitten vampire vamp bite love
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Comments (5 Comments)
- Siaya Dragalorn - 09/09/2009
- Kind of creepy. Good story line as far as I can tell, but there is so little detail and it skips around far too much. The vagueness is what annoyed me. More descriptions would be wonderful. The sentences do not flow, some needing commas instead of periods. Conjunctions in there would be nice as well. Also, whenever someone says or thinks something it is the mark of a new paragraph.
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- vampire19710 - 07/28/2009
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cool:>
i like it.! - Report As Spam
- Princess Zelda21 - 07/28/2009
- Wow, I really like this story! Good job!
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- Mia Belarus Valentine - 07/23/2009
- wow. thats cool. kinda dramatic that a male vamp would cry to see the loved one.. but its pretty cool
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- Dragons Willow - 07/12/2009
- wow! the story sounds great, and you're off to a good start, but it's written more as a rough draft, an outline with details. i recommend revision. i didn't notice spelling, but the punctuation was off a bit, but only in a few cases. again, i like the idea of the story, but it needs some sprucing. KEEP WRITING THO!!! this story is gonna be great....luv the title by the way! 4laugh i hope that wasn't too mean.... sweatdrop ...
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