Warewolf and the Human pt. 1

• Artist: leahcicle103196
• Description: This is about a Warewolf Named Maxx and a Human girl named Maddi who meet each other unexpedetly...
  You'll haveto read the rest to find out!!
• Date: 07/16/2009
• Tags: warewolf human

"Mom you can't send me there!" I said objectivly putting my hands on my hips. "You have to sweetie! It was my only choice! Your fathers in India for the month and I have a business meeting in Coloumbia this weekend. if i make this then I'll ahve to stay for another year! Please Maddi." my mom begged. "Fine but if cousin Eddy makes me sleep on the floor for a whole year then i'm throwing him out the window and he can sleep in his own blood!"I said storming off into my room.
"Ugh!!!" I said thrusting my suitecase out of my closet. I yanked open my dresser drawers and started stuffing everything into my suitcase. My mother Teresia said I had to travel halfway across the Country to Washington D.C. to live with my Uncle George for a whole year!! Plus, my dog Cocoa can't come with me because my other cousin Verionica is allergic. My cell phone was sitting on my dresser untoutched until I picked it up.
2 new messages?I thought. I unlocked my keyboard and saw who they were from. It was my Uncle's Next door neighbor Harrison. He has this major crush on me for some reason, and I have no idea how he got my cell number. Probably from Eddy. I pulled a prank on him by putting his hand in warm water last time i was there.
The text said,
Maddi,
I am so excited that your coming to visit for a whole year! maybe we can get to know each other more.
lov- I mean Sincerly,
Harry Pits
I gave that name to him because he just like it.
"OMG" i said when I saw who the next message was from. It was my crush Dean Summers.
The text said,
Maddi,
I know that we've never gotten to know each other very much and that i've ignored you most of my life, but i think that now would be the perfect time to start. Meet me at Greyson's @ 4 sharp.
Your (soon to be friend)
Dean

I immeadatly grabbed my jacket and purse. I waved goodbye to my mother who wasn't very happy i was going, and started walking down the street. I didn't realize there was a man following me until he grabbed me. The next thing i saw was black...

PART 2 COMING SOON!

Comments

[Jess369]

You need to paragraph before one of your characters says something. Spelling and grammer errors are not very good either. Also, what you might want to do is use italics for whenever your Maddi is thinking. I agree with LeatherCoconut, thrusting your suitcase out? 3/5.

[Puppy Arin]

5/5 and just wondering when is part 2 coming! smile

[leahcicle103196]

I agree with you. But the reason it has so many errors was because u was typing it on my Itouch.

[LeatherCoconut]

Well very teenagery, um you have some errors with spelling, tiny mistakes, maybe you could use spell check. You need to be better with paragraphing when people are speaking in the first part, like Maddi spoke, one paragraph Mom spoke, second paragraph, instead of mushing them together.
Thrusting as you put it doesn't make sense, thrusting is when you are pushing in, you are yanking a suitcase out, but I like how you used bigger words in a teen story.
3/5
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