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PROLOGUE
"In the east the wind smells of Riches, while in the West the air smells of oil. so where do the lands trade?
proverbs of Sir Common S.
I came upon a land that I had never seen before. Now that I think back to it, I don't even remember how I arrived.
The land was filled with giant golden stones that were upheaved and upheld into megalithic stuctures of brilliant beauty. The building and bridges streatched beyond my vision.
The streets were paved in some material that shimmered like the sea, except in a thousand different colors of many varieties. I walked a few steps on the road to see that with each new step I took a ripple of colors would progress from my feet like the ground was water. It gave a feeling of power and grace that this place truly deserved to hold.
I am not sure what told me to hide behind the wall in the alley to my right, but when I did I heared foot steps approaching that for some reason sent chillls down my spine. I dared to take a peek at the approaching noise. What I saw sent me back against the wall. I had seen a being shrouded in shadows that didn't match the beuty of this land, but even more disturbing was the fact that I knew it had seen even though i had not seen his eyes or even knew if it had any.
It walked past my hiding spot heading to a building I had not seen before. It was of cyrstal that shone more magnificently than the the golden city, and it streatched to hights that could not be seen from mile away.
I followed the thing for a while till it reached the gates of the cyrstal palace where it stoped and somehow I knew it was smiling.
I saw it raise a wepend that looked like a wierd sword as black as the night. then he turned to me with thouse piercing eyes that could not be seen and his blade.
Suddenly the being shrouded in shadows was gone being replaced by clouds of red dust and lightning that consumed my vision while stinging my eyes. Out of instink i cover my face with my arms.
When I open my eyes I found that I was in a red sky filled with lightning. I looked down to see ruins showing none of the beauty that the city once held. I don't remember what told me that was the same city but I knew. I turned my head to my right to see my own kingdom being raided by shadows and fire destroying all in thier path. Even though I was far away i could see with such clarity the bloodshed of my kin and then i scream at the night, and finaly all I saw was black.
diary of King Ramen's Dreams
- by Paul Joseph Hovey |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 09/03/2009 |
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- Title: the birth of power "prolouge"
- Artist: Paul Joseph Hovey
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Description:
this is the prologue to a book I am making please comment and give me hints do note though i was trying to write it as the king in the story would.
this is my story do not copy this and use it as your own work but if you like it pm me and i will show you some of my other works.
please also comment if you would read a book that starts like this. - Date: 09/03/2009
- Tags: birth power dreams epic saga
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Comments (4 Comments)
- peppermews - 10/17/2011
- Really interesting smile only a few things like instink and wepend (instinct and weapon?) but I really liked it and would be interested to read more and learn about the king's character. Also, I wouldn't use the word weird; it seems a little out of place. Unusual or strange might be better but that's just my opinion (I could be just being stupid). Please, please continue to write biggrin
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- _dragoness_0 - 06/03/2010
- (cont. comment) will be happier with it if you change it. The characters should not satisfy the plot, the plot should satisfy the characters. If you are of a different opinion, that's fine, and I will respect that. smile
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- _dragoness_0 - 06/03/2010
- I found your prologue very intriguing. I liked your descriptions, they were very well thought out. King Ramen (or the narrator) seems to lack solidity in his motivations. I know its a dream, but if his real-life motivations could seep through into his dreams, it would give him more of a feeling of purpose. Also, the line about how 'he didn't know why he went behind the wall' did seem a little cliche, and I think you
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- Paul Joseph Hovey - 09/05/2009
- okay all 5s so far i guess people like it but no one is commenting and it has only been rated 4 times but so good so far
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