• My feet pounded against the ground as I ran through the dark sidewalks in the rain, my hair whipping it’s way through the air. My breathing was short and broken up and I looked around quickly at what I could see with the street lights... But before I could get my eyes focused on what was in front of me, I was captured. A giant hand held against my throat pushed me against the wall. I opened my eyes to see the other hand held a shot gun aimed straight through my heart and my eyes grew wide and… I screamed...
    ...But maybe I should start from the beginning...
    My name is Leila Hagar... I live with my mother, Kamila, and her boyfriend, Michael Larkin.
    Today is the first day of 9th grade for me. For fifth period I was stuck in 'People Studies' with Mrs. Amedea where we learn more about who we are...
    “Allll righty class. Today, we are going to figures out what our names mean. Isn’t that exciting?” Mrs. Amedea said in her mild Italian accent. She was a tall, tanned woman with black hair that came to her shoulders and green eyes with a hint of gray in them.
    The whole class got up and walked to one of the computers in the giant room. Everyone found a buddy to group up with and sit with while I walked over to the corner computer and sat down. I turned on the computer and went to Google and typed in…
    name meaning Leila
    I clicked the first link that came up and began to read.
    The name ‘Leila’ (LAY-lah, LEE-lah, LYE-lah) is of Arabic origin and it’s meaning is ‘night beauty’
    Night beauty? Yeah right…I went back to Google and typed in Hagar and did the same procedure as my first name.
    The name ‘Hagar’ is of Hebrew origin it’s meaning is…
    “Forsaken?!!” Mrs. Amedea shrieked from behind me, causing her voice to go up a few octaves and I turned around quickly to look at her. She looked at me and whispered “Forsaken by God I presume...” and walked away to the view other’s name meanings. I looked down at my clothes. Black converses with jeans and a black t-shirt on, with a black jacket to cover it all. What’s anti-God about that?
    “Don’t worry about what she said. She’s half psycho anyway.” I turned around and looked at what the words came from.
    “Hi, I’m Nathanael Zadkiel” he said, blushing slightly. “But everyone calls me Nat” I glanced around at the other students. Some were staring at me while others whispered to their friends. I looked down and typed in my mom’s and Michael’s names. Kamila meant ‘perfect’ while Michael’s was ‘who resembles God?’ and Larkin was ‘rough, fierce’. I typed in Amedea to see what it meant, just out of curiosity. ‘To Love God’. Go figure...
    ‘Nat’ laughed slightly.
    “Does your whole life revolve around God?” I stiffened up and turned off the computer and packed up my things. Just as the bell rang telling us that the prison was being left out for the day, I took his hand and wrote my name quickly, hoping it was legible enough, and walked out the door with the rest of the class towards my bus.
    When I got home, mom was still at McGee's Pub working and Michael was sitting on the couch watching the TV like he always did. His red/tan face with his piercing blue eyes had a dead zombie stare at the TV while two guys fought each other while swearing all the way. He only noticed me when I took the first step on the stairs. It made a creaking sound and his head whipped around and saw me.
    "Oh... It's just you..." he said and let his shoulders relax.
    "I thought you was your momma" he went on in his deep, rough voice. His weather beaten face looked bored and I saw a beer bottle in his hand, which really isn't a surprise...
    "Come over here though. Now." I took a deep breath and slowly put my books back on the bottom step and walked towards him as slow as I could without being obvious about it. I stood in front of him as he ran his hand through his dyed blonde hair, then he grabbed my shoulder and shoved me down onto the couch. I went to lean back and he pulled me closer to him and I started to drown in the alcohol that seemed imbedded in him.
    "Now... listen up, pipsqueak." he said, putting his hand on the back of my neck and squeezed. "This is my house, so you'll go by my rules, kapesh?" Kapesh being a word he found from Full House's 'Uncle Jesse' and it means, in a way, 'understand?'.
    I nodded and tried to stand up but he only squeezed harder and pushed me down.
    "Leeeeila...." he leaned in towards my face and I closed my eyes tightly and tried pull my hands up in front of my face. Before they actually got there a cutting pain flew up my hand to my shoulder then made a home in my wrist. I winced and grabbed my wrist and then I realized that the pressure on my neck was gone. I looked up at Michael and stood up and backed up as quick as I could, almost falling backwards. His hands were over his face and he was moaning in pain.
    "Ugh.... You little..." he moaned and I walked in front of him quickly towards the stairs, still holding my wrist that was pounding in pain. Before I got past him, he grabbed the back of my shirt and threw me down to the ground which caused my head to slam off the floor and my vision to go a little fuzzy. He held my wrists in one hand and I felt the pain go to my shoulder and stay there. Then he leaned down with his knees against my waist and and pulled his other hand into a fist. I knew what was next I closed my eyes tight and turned my head.
    My head went numb almost on impact and I could feel the bruising already starting to form around my eye, then just as quick as the blow happened he was pulling me up off the ground and pushed me roughly to the stairs.
    "Go upstairs before your mom gets in here or you won't live to see the last day of school." he growled. His blue eyes were blazing and his lip was bleeding a little from where I hit him. I grabbed my stuff off the stairs and ran up the stairs to my room just as my mom walked in.
    "Michael, daaaarlin'. I just had a hoooorible day at.... What happened to your lip?!" she screeched towards the end.
    "I, uh... Just hit my teeth off my bottle." he lied.
    My mom just giggled or something and got some wine and they both 'talked' and whatnot until they went to their bedroom. I walked to my left hand wall mirror and looked at my reflection. My gray eyes were stuck in between blank and pleading and my left eye was already rimmed in black, blue, purple and red. My black hair hung down straight down my back and my bangs covered my eyes which made it easier to hide the bruising, plus using lots of makeup sometimes helped. I took of my jacket and pants and put on my gray sweat pants and went to bed. Hopefully life would show some mercy in the morning.
    I woke up and numbness overran the left side of my face. I tried to ignore it as I got dressed. Black tanktop that wrote 'damaged' across the chest and my black non-deniem pants with a studded belt and my black boots. I looked in the mirror and my right shoulder was bruised from Michael's grip from the night before. I grabbed my XXL black jacket off the small rack in my room and put it on. After combing my hair out and making sure Michael's lovely signture item was hidden, then brushing my teeth, I snuck downstairs with my books and binder and slipped out the door before anyone woke up. After waiting out at the bus stop bench for half and hour, I finally got on the bus and sat in the first seat to be the first off and to try and ignore the rest of the school students behind me. One little 6th grader sat across from me and I looked down, not wanting to have her see something was wrong. It was better that way.
    The bus stopped and got another victim, then parked at the school. The girl moved and sat behind me. She tapped me on the shoulder and I winced slightly then turned so my right eye was looking at her. She was really pretty for a child so young. She had blonde curly hair and bright brown eyes that suddenly turned sad or surprised when I looked at her. She opened her mouth to speak.
    "Does that hurt?" she whispered glance at my other eye that I thought she couldn't see. I bit my lip and as soon as the doors opened on the bus, I stood up and got off the bus before I spilled my whole life story onto the young girl's shoulders.
    I survived math, then art class, english and gym where I wore my long black sweat pants and my long sleeved school mascot shirt, which was required, I headed off to 'People Studies'. Mrs. Amedea stared at me as I walked to the other side of the room and sat down at a desk in the back of the room. After about an hour of Mrs. Amedea talking about opening our minds and learning more about ourselves, Nat opened the door and stretched them handed her a piece of paper the looked at the class.
    "So, what'd I miss?" he said and most of the guys laughed and most of the girl's either giggled or glared at him. When nobody answered he made his was to the back of the room and sat by me. I glanced at him and he grinned and leaned back in his chair, trying to look cool or impress me... not sure which.
    Mrs. Amedea silenced the class.
    "As I was saying..." she continuted, her voice lowering in anger, "The ways to understand yourself better.."
    Nat looked at my face and I glanced down at the desk. I saw his hand slowly reach over and pull my chin up slowly so I was looking at him. His pure blue eyes hinted of curiousity as his fingers gently moved my bangs to the side. I looked down as his eyes widen from behind his dirty blonde hair.
    "Who did that?" his voice was low and deadly and I pulled my head farther down and shook my head. I felt his eyes on me and I squeezed my hand into a fist, letting my fingernails dig into my palm. Why wasn't I more careful with keeping these things hidden?
    The class ended ten minutes later and I grabbed my things and went out to the lockers. Nat grabbed my arm and my wrist began to pound again in pain. I looked up at him and I'm sure he might have saw fear or something in my eyes because his softened and he let go of my arm.
    "Why won't you talk to anyone?" he asked softly, tilting his head. "People care about you, Leila."
    I teared up a little and looked down. I couldn't cry now, not after all I've been through. He stood there waiting and I was positive he wouldn't let me leave until I answered him. I went open my mouth. Then I shook my head and walked to the door. I kept my eyes down and walked out to the buses without looking back at him.
    I on the way home, I watched the rain out the window. I almost hurt him... I almost made him start to worry..
    The thoughts were drowning me, which made me keep thinking as I got to the house and I opened the door, not thinking of what was inside. As soon as I walked in the door I was hit by something cold and hard, and it shattered when it hit the ground. I looked up to see Michael standing there with his eyes blazing again and his face a brighter red then I've seen in a long time.
    "Child Sevices just called..." he started, taking a step towards me. "They said that they saw bruises on you and think you're being abused under MY roof..." he continuted towards me, only a few feet away now. "I told them that you were just getting disaplinded, that's all. But nooo, they didn't believe me... They said they is going to send up one of them there fancy pants workers to come and get cha... But they can't do that if you ain't here anymore." He reached into his back pocket and I did what I did on impulse.
    I threw my books at him. The math book hit him in the gut while my english book hit him straight on his foot. He yelled and cursed me out as I ran out the door and down the street. The rain was pounding down harder now and I was running towards town. Towards the police station.
    And that's were I was now. Running down the street with the rain pounding down and my hair flying everywhere. Then up against a wall with the gun aimed for the heart. This is where I stand now.
    My eyes look terrified and my heart is beating harder and louder then ever before. I don't want to die... I don't want to die... Somebody save me...
    "Any last words, freak of nature?" Michael cocked the gun and squeezed the trigger slightly. I did the only thing I could do at this moment.
    "HELP ME!!" I screamed as loud as I could, praying someone could hear me.
    ....That's when he pulled the trigger.
    He let go of my throat and I fell to the ground and I grab at my heart. It was still beating... I didn't even feel any pain. I looked in front of me and I saw the back of someone's legs, bent slightly and blood dripping onto their shoe.
    Michael's gun was on the ground too and I grabbed it and stood up slowly. The person in front of me was breathing hard and was doubled over, with dirty blonde hair hanging down their face. Michael was laying over the hood of his car with a whole in his forehead and blood dripping down his cheeks.
    "Leila...?" his voice was weak. He glanced over at me and smiled painfully. "I told you... That people cared..."
    His eyes widened in surprise and he fell forward to the ground. I leaned down beside him and flipped him over gently. His chest was sunken in and bloody. He's the one that took the bullet.. I gently shook his arm, tears rolling down my cheeks and falling onto his broken body.
    "Nat... Nat... I believe you now... I believe you..." I choked out. "Please come back..." The rain was still falling as a perfect white feather landed on his chest. I guess God does lay everything down for his beloveds...