• Her dark eyes glimmered in the moonlight, her pale skin shown bright with the light of the stars. He knew the look in her eyes. It was a look of self-hatred, it was a look she often had. His heart tore itself to pieces when she had that look, no matter what he did, no matter how much he could make her laugh, the look was still there. It threatened to consume her, and then spit out an empty shell of the girl she used to be.

    The secret side of me I never let you see

    She knew he was watching her, his long brunette hair swaying with the night breeze. She knew he was scared for her, but she didn’t know why. Could he really care for her? She was a monster, she should have died long ago, and yet he kept her alive. He was her dearest friend, and her guardian angel all in one. But still, she could not escape the feeling of hatred, no matter how much she struggled against it, she hoped death would overcome her before it did.

    I keep it caged but I can't control it

    He came from behind and hugged her waist, he silently begged her to keep holding on. She was like a porcelain doll in his arms, so easily broken… and yet she reminded him of a rag doll, already broken, ripped to pieces, remade time and time again. Her soft, raven, hair touched his cheek, it was so lifeless. Just like her, she’d never returned to him, not really, she’d seen so much, felt so many things, she’d been hurt too many times. She had not returned to him, a doll had returned to him, a doll that would never be the same.

    Stay away from me the beast is ugly

    She had killed a man, he had hurt her, he had hurt her so many times… and she killed him. It had been raining that night, he was coming after her with a broken beer bottle, she clutched the pocket knife, she had learned to keep with her, in front of her quivering body. He thought she was bluffing. She wasn’t. He came at her and the knife pierced his chest…

    I feel the rage and I just can't hold it

    She whispered to him, her voice ragged, “Make it end…” he was shocked, what was she asking him to do? Was he to let her go? Let her plummet from the roof of the apartment? Was he to step back as she stepped forward? “Cris.. w-what are you saying?” He asked desperately, he couldn’t let her die… she was too important to him. She was his light, she was the white moon to his black sun… She simply shook her head, he wanted to break down then and there, he wanted her to come inside with him and laugh and smile like she used to. But that girl was gone…

    It's scratching on the walls in the closet, in the halls

    Make it end, she’d asked him to make it end. She wanted eternal sleep to overcome her, for the night to take her with it. She wanted the monster within her to die, die before it had the satisfaction of taking her. Making her it’s vessel. She looked upon herself with hatred, unrefined hatred, she hadn’t even known she could feel hate. True hate, an emotion that seemed stronger than love. Love, an emotion she’d never fully experienced…

    It comes awake and I can't control it

    He wanted so badly for her to smile, for some trace of the girl she used to be to present itself. He wanted her to laugh and tell him it was all okay, he wanted her to hug him tight, and never let go… His grip around her waist tightened a bit, he wanted to protect her. Protect his porcelain doll, keep all the horrors of the world away from her. But it was too late for that, she had already been lost to the world… the look in her eyes would never fade…

    Hiding under the bed in my body, in my head

    A tear fell from her dark eyes, she wanted to let go… Why wouldn’t he let her?! Wasn’t he supposed to be her best friend? Why wouldn’t he let her fade into her beloved moonlight, into the darkness she so desperately craved? Why did he insist on keeping her close, on protecting her? She tried to take a step forward, but he held her close, she struggled against him, and he held her tighter. She was a monster, he should let her die! She wanted to die, why wouldn’t he let her…?

    Why won't somebody come and save me from this? Make it end!