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ROYAL
Evaluation Spreadsheet
((Key))
Name of Patient:
Rank:
Age:
Evaluation:
Evaluation Status: Pass / Fail
Name of Patient: “Granz”
Rank: Royal
Age: 24
Evaluation:
“So what does this mean? I’m crazy? Antisocial? Or just another brain for you to probe?”
“ I am here to find all of that out. This is a routine process for every member of his King’s selected knights. You are not the only one getting this evaluation. Keep that in mind. I am here to get your back story and to evaluate your last mission. That is all.”
“My back story? Ha…you want every detail? Or would you rather I censor it for you?”
“I would like to be informed of all the details but the story is yours, you tell it how you remember it.”
“I remember it all. Lemme start with how the King found me.”
“Alright then.”
“I was nine. I left home around eight, my parents served in some kind of war as a doctor and a general. I cannot be certain what war. They were both like me. “
“Both like you? Explain”
“You know damn well what I mean.”
“I need it to be on record.”
“ …Fine. Cerborean.”
“Thank you.”
“As I was saying. My parents served in some war. As I recall, I have no idea what war it was. I remember seeing them off. I have no idea if they are alive or not. I don’t rightly care at this point.”
“You don’t care if your mother and father are alive or dead? Why is that?”
“They left and I never got a single letter from them. Nothing to show me that they were doing well or even alive. I spent so long, worrying about them that I was often sick to my stomach when those thoughts crossed my mind.”
“With our resources we could probably find out what happened to them.”
“The King informed me of that. In fact…he knows what happened to them. He asked if I wanted to know and I declined. Even if they did come back, I don’t wanna know how they felt when they seen I wasn’t there…like I said. It just makes me sick.”
“If it is too much, we can stop. Often these memories surface and cause some backlash.”
“I told you. I don’t care anymore. Can I finish?”
“Of course.”
“I left home when I was fourteen. I wandered across the country side for a year. To be honest…I don’t know what I was doing. But I couldn’t stay home. It just made me even more sick. So I left…I traveled so long before coming into a city. They called it Red Haven. A big city. Nice place. Only the enforcement there was so strict. I wandered in at night and found an abandoned shack, no one was there. I lived there for albeit three days before I wandered out and looked for something to eat and just someone to talk to.”
“You were lonely?”
“Kiss my a** doc…”
“There’s no need to be hostile.”
“I’m ignoring you…back to my story. ”
“I wandered out and as my luck goes. I was immediately found by an officer who asked me where were my papers, my parents and my home. When I told him I didn’t have any of the above you would think that I just robbed a bank. The guy flipped and I was tossed into the prison without a second thought.
Turns out that when a Cerborean is captured, word gets around fast. Albeit I had my own cell I was still treated horribly by the other officers while in that hell hole. But it’s a blessing in disguise.”
“Blessing in disguise? How so?”
“The word got to the King.”
“I see. Then what happened?”
“Turns out when the guards figured out that there was a Hell Dog in the cell, they felt like proving themselves, some off means of proving they were men or something... Taking shots at me and laughing about it. Little did I know that the King was on his way with his daughter and a few royals to bail me out, to give me a new life…”
((Patient seemed to pause for nearly thirty seconds. Almost as if he was overwhelmed with happiness to the point of crying, although no tears were shed.))
“What did you just write?”
“That you were overjoyed to the point of tears.”
“Your saying I was crying?”
“To the point of tears. You weren’t crying.”
“I was overjoyed this is true but you got it all wrong. I was recalling what happened next. This is where the story gets interesting. I won’t go into great detail but you will get the point of my backstory.”
“By all means. Do go on”
((Patients mood changed instantly. He grinned this wicked grin…I felt my blood turn cold…))
“You look pale Doc. Maybe we should pause and continue this at another date yeah?”
“That is not…not…necessary. Please continue.”
“All right…”
“That night, around 10 or so, the guard who originally found me, stood outside my cell. Remember how I told you they took shots at me for fun? He did it again, only he grazed me…I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted out…the bullet grazed my temple so I fell over…faking as though it killed me. I held my breath as the gates swung open. He was afraid, you could hear it in his breath. He thought he killed me. As soon as I felt him stand over me I lunged at him. I grabbed the gun from his hand and threw it…I ripped the tendons and muscles in his forearm and then I tore his neck out. At first I just wanted to escape but after seeing how easy that was…I had revenge on my mind. I will never forget that feeling. I did not want to kill them. I didn’t. But I did anyway, although a bit brutally I seemed to do it right.”
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- Title: Cerborean Evalutation PT 1
- Artist: Yikiru
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Description:
This is the evaluation that was given to my own character after a mission. Twas mandatory and the records were made public! Here they are!
((Fictional story that I am working on))
=D - Date: 05/16/2011
- Tags: cerborean evalutation
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Comments (7 Comments)
- Yikiru - 07/04/2011
- With my evaluation parts included, I have well over 25 pages of this story typed. =D I feel so proud. razz
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- Yikiru - 07/04/2011
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And yes I made a blunder on the age at which he left his home. I really should make a timeline. XD
The fourteen should have retained to be eight. Not sure how it came to be. Oops. ^_^; - Report As Spam
- Yikiru - 07/04/2011
- Thanks much for the comments. smile Maybe I will post more? =D
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- lighthuntress - 07/02/2011
- that was ******** awesome!!!!!!! i loved it. i like that you didn't tell us what a cerborean was at first. good cliff hanger. plz write and post more!!!!!
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- Kaylea le Loup - 06/29/2011
- Is really good! Just a few errors like at first he says "I left home around eight" I originally thought you meant eight years old but later he says "I left home when I was fourteen." It confused me, I do realize that you could have meant eight o'clock maybe specify. I also thought maybe this was done on purpose because he was crazy, or he was really bad at telling lies.Besides that it is really great so far, the "Patient" has an interesting personality that is shown off really well.
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- Yikiru - 05/21/2011
- I have written a good 10+ pages of this story. If the reviews/comments are good I will post it aswell. =D
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