• Of course, I know, I've heard it a million times.
    "Well hun...ya know..thats life"
    "shes got a new glorifed body in heaven".
    I felt like punching them in the mouth..their words dont mean anything to me right now. If anything...I found it in-sensitive. Even the most genuine sympathy felt fabricated.
    It was unwanted.
    Leave me alone. Let me cry in peace..no..dont leave me...
    dont leave me alone, you a**. Cant you see you're who I need right now?
    No. Wrong. Who I need is 6 feet under.
    And you...how can you stand there and look so smug while I sit here and break...what are you, some kind of sociopath?
    Without you, I'm lost...my memories with you are beautiful..but the most painful thing on my heart
    your hugs, kisses, wisdom....
    I sometimes think what if I'd never known you? That would be better right? then I wouldnt know what I'd just lost...
    But the gift of knowing you...I wouldnt have it any other way.

    That night..an open window, a fit of screaming, soaking my pillow and sheets in tears.
    If anyone could die of emotional pain alone...
    The sobs so close one could barely breathe.
    How am I alive? surely my hearts stopped beating.
    But I still see, I still have have a pulse, a thought, and feel the greif.
    .............I'm.still.alive..........
    I climbed out the window and felt my feet "thud" on the ground. I felt the dirt.
    how can the birds stil sing, and the sun still shine...on a day like this?

    I now understood why Edgar allan Poe slept at the grave sight of his late lover.
    Here I stand, miles away from your burial, laying ont he ground, knowing..thinking...that even though I may move on, the pain right now out-weighs anything...everything...
    That night, I became a ghost.

    You didnt make it. Neither did I.