• June 22nd, 2011- Madeline’s Diary- Mental Copy

    Life has no meaning for me anymore.

    I have thought this at least 200 times in the last five minutes, sitting under the apple tree in my backyard, the rain softly falling on my bare skin. Drops trickle down my arms, like my tears do recently. I know I need help. But I have nobody to turn to. My parents are too busy for me anymore, and they wouldn’t even understand if they did, and as for friends....I have none. At least not here, not in this realm.

    I have to suffer like this, too cowardly to take up the knife. Oh, I’ve held one before, holding it to my chest at least ten times before. There have also been countless times where others have held one to mine as well, only to have fallen one way or another.

    I can’t live with myself anymore. Every time I close my eyes, I see the images from a place I can never go back to. Some might call it crazy or demented, but I lust for the war cries, the chanting, the arrows flying, and the screech of animals piercing the air. I’ve become a monster, something inhuman.

    And I just learned I will never fit into the emo crowd at school.

    Ok, let’s cut the crap here. I’m not good at writing pretty stuff, so I’m just going to say it as it is. This is the story of how I got to be here, under the apple tree, half wanting to take an overdose. I need to write this all down, at least a rough draft, so I don’t go insane. Heck, for all I know, I already am.

    And just who am I?

    I’m Madeline Fletcher, 16 year old-

    Well, we’ll get to that later.

    But right now, I have to start this, if it’s alright with you. Actually, I don’t even care if you’re alright with it.

    It all started when I rode a llama in the bathroom at school...