• Milestones
    and
    limitations

    I see myself as a lot of things; either good or terrifying. Even if it's from a nightmare or dream. I can be model of heroism, of bravery, courage, kindness, "Hope"; though I could also be a model of fear, war, terror, The End.
    Determination and empathy is what we all need, it's what our world would want us to have. I've claimed responsibility for causing 1/3 of the exact opposite in 1944-1945, yet I was given a pass for aiding the Allies. A third of the prisoners felt my inhumanity and only half of them saw my humanity; yet to this day their emotions carried on even to their children's children. I have no regrets even though those of kind-hearted believed that I live with regret even after their passing, they want to believe. I accepted all responisibilities, whether morally or mentally; I accepted. "It's all for research," the only false truth I can give as an answer to any "why" questions, when I was actually afraid of being caught stealing documents from the Axis powers.

    Befriending prisoners is a bitter sweet idea for any common reasons, using them to create distractions and in return I "promised" their freedom; if only I could. All for freedom yet dread lingers everytime I plan on stealing more files, so when a shot is heard, I tremble in anguish; but only my heart felt like it sank and my body did not. There isn't a moment where I don't remember the faces of those men who were willing to do what it takes to help their bretheren and set them free.

    Auschwitz, Poland, 1944-1945. A time in history where I had my first look into human research, their anatomy, their psychology, etc. I also began my research in recovering what the nazi party stole from the world; I became bored on my 10th expedition, but gained interest in interrogation and human limitation from finding leads on the artifacts they stole. Six hundred and twenty one prisoners, fourteen prisoner agents, twenty one former nazi soldiers during interrogations, and fourteen former nazi officers with stolen artifacts; a total of six hundred and sixty six dead during my course, 666, I may be close to being the devil even though I'm not really like him. From here on out, I will always hate this number; even if it's just numbers.

    I began my research on human limits but then I began writing theories of applying the same methods I used on humans and wanting to use it on an immortal being and finding their limits. Yet there are no such thing as an immortal beings or a god no less.

    I postponed my research on immortal beings and began another research into dimentional doors. Locating former german scientists and allied researchers within a month was stressful and only a handful of those who's field into physics, rocketry, and particles were willing to help me in my research. Then we found one dimentional door and looking inside it, it felt like a world of fantasy from the pictures we took with the drone we sent in. They opted we sent in a soldier or at least a willing subject to go through the door, I quickly volunteered but they didn't want to risk me having to go in since they claimed I may have no experience in combat. I told them that I actually came from 2041, they laughed, but then I showed them a device that would turn their mockery into shock; they believed me now. Five years of being in the "real" German army and spending two years in Auschwitz, I was fully capable in adapting to life in a different timeline. Upon entering the door my research into dimentional doors ended and my previous research started once again.

    Taking things into consideration, I had to put my research aside and start working on adapting to the culture and customs of this unfamiliar world. Places like these may have similar periodic elements, like similarities in the old days of human history or rather it may be like walking into a medieval fair except everything is real and the myths we've written are true. With that set in mind, there could be newly undiscovered minerals or periodic elements that we have yet to discover or create.

    First of I need to set up a base of operation where I can set up a waypoint for the dimensional door to open for me to drop off any samples I find, but for the mean time this area will be a temporary placed for me to come by and drop off samples for the guys to take a good look at it. It may be pointless but to find a permanent location to open "the Door" is neccessary because if it's out in the open then almost anyone can open it. We're still not sure as to how we can create doors to other worlds, the lab is quite large since the design of the device is larger than we thought and the door frame mainly act as a medium to open up a way to another dimension. Coordinates were set for a certain location here, but until we've recieved a geological map of this world we'll just have to keep it as a theory. So as of this moment, I'll be living in an unknown world and making camp near the Door. If house hunting comes empty handed, we'll just have to build a house here and deal with any problems that may come from it.

    Despite wearing clothes worn during the 1950s, people took me as a foreigner from a far away country, some mistook me to be an apprentice mage or student of magic due to the lab coat and backpack, though I've had this backpack ever since I came from 2041 and to them it looks like a satchel filled with potions or enchanted items.

    Their language is somewhat similar to Gaelic but my initial thought is that it's not their native language since most of the words they say are a bit off, well they mostly mispronounce some words and some even add words from their language into the sentence, so communication is challenging even if I couldn't really get what they're saying to me in "Aenglish," after being asked by some of the city folks who approached me and by the merchants I visited though their pronounciations are better.

    During my time in 1945 I did stole a few gold bars and a few other gold items after sanitizing them, but, as appreciation for some of the prisoners who helped me in the camp I repaid them for the troubles even though it wouldn't mean much to some of them. I do still have quite a fortune though; about 10 million dollars worth of gold items which is surprising that I was able to get away with committing a heist during WWII yet alone hiding it in my office at the officers' building. Currency in this world is different though they have more coin dollars or Haels as they call them and their printed money having more value but are around 10k, 50k, 100k Haels. Before heading here though, I told the scientists about how much gold I stole from the Nazis and after them explaining how much the equipment we need to build the Door generator and how finding a building for us to use as a lab would cost; I have about 10 gold bars in my possession. I have a feeling that I should've hired an accountant.

    In exchange for four gold bars which weighs about 20lbs each I recieved about 900k in printed money, 55 Haels, and 10 coins, a small fortune for a beginner merchant if I ever plan on opening a magic shop; or a book store...

    Night approaches but I wasn't able to set up camp near the Door's location so I found a place to stay at a popular local inn that charges about 300 Haels a night. A family owned inn with friendly atmosphere and a lot of adventurers come here for the ale or beer or whatever kind of beverage they serve though I couldn't really tell since I don't drink, I dislike alcohol but I do drink a pint rarely and I prefer hard apple cider which I don't think this world have had any alcohol made from apples; well not in this region I suppose. I should note that one of these days I'll have to change the term for the Door's "Location" since using that term makes it a bit difficult to understand; although I'm not sure if Door Frame works.

    The next morning I headed back to the Door and although it's been about 18 hours since I arrived into this world, no one has discovered it and with that being said I decided to make things easier for me if I head back through the Door and get a camp kit to bring back as well as a few provisions that'll last for at least several weeks before I'm able to grow or hunt for food. As for making sure no one is able to see the Door in Fantasy world, I'll have to pay my old home a visit and get that dusty kamo tarp and maybe since it seems alright to be carrying a blade in the other world I guess it's time to bring my piece, hmmm an apprentice mage carrying a meter long custom claymore with the blade made from bronze and dense carbon alloy and a silicon fiber hilt which in the 20th century makes no sense since it's just imaginary but it worked for me even though in some missions I carried a modernized flintlock frame pistol with hollowpoint ammo for anyone who gets too close. Difficult for some since holding a huge single edge sword on one hand and a pistol on the other is hard to master, well not that anyone has tried even though Exos made it easier.

    Armor should also be a concern but given the fact that they have mages or other similar classes, they would have magic shields and stuff though it would still be useful to have some armor under these clothes and luckily I still have my old combat gear, graphene wool laced with steel threads can stop a rifle round from medium and close range with the exception of feeling the impact even if the round couldn't go through the cloth, but, it can stop a blade or arrow so that's a win.

    Now I'm happy that I've set a path for new research and such, but, I appreciate it if they just let me be the one to be in Fantasy world all by myself; oh how wrong I was. One of the other scientists was hanging out with friends and got a little too confident in keeping their drinking under control so now we've.... I've got a dozen scientists coming along with me, two of them are from the army and have gotten some combat training while the rest are civilian scientists ranging from botanist to environmental science and geologist.

    I'm babysitting these people for all I can say, at least if we need to build a homestead, I have some people who can help build a house; I'm not saying that they've never picked up a hammer, I'm just saying if they want to be in a different world to do research in, they'll have to do the same thing I did when I first lived in their world... er... timeline... They'll have to adapt just as I have without using a lot from my timeline. Better safe than sorry; even though I'm responsible for creating a different dimension when I arrived in their timeline.

    Free spirits

    It's been five Earth months but it's same for this world called, Allanzfar, two weeks in trying to move the Door Frame resulted in back aches and burning palms as well as the construction equipment nearly giving some of us a neck shave, a really close shave. So in the end we had to build a house around the Frame, we found out that even if you dug under it, it'll stay exactly where it is, the Door Frame staying exactly where it is in time and space and it doesn't look like it's floating. So two houses down and for the first time I'm suprised that these guys actually felt satisfied for actually building a place with a roof for them to stay under, usually it's always the army that's there to provide and mainly it's always an encampment or a former farmhouse or a structure with a few tank rounds in em, most of em also looked proud. Some are still sleeping under tents but at least we're making progress, even though I'm not.

    I'm here to research on the limitations on "Gods or Immortals," judging on how we talked about them in myths or folklore, it'll be difficult and not to mention suicide, for a guy like me to feel like I have my tail between my legs out of anxiety; I'm really looking forward to capture a god or goddess. "Never give in to doubt no matter what consequences may come because you're already nose deep in your goal", lesson no. 012, one of my lessons to myself or to others, it may not look like it but I am nose deep into my research goal, I'm in another world to accomplish a research milestone and my pride and "I Can Do It," attidute prevents me from even backing out of what I'm plundging myself into, I'll never stop even if others state that it's immoral, it's immoral if you feel their suffering. Research takes sacrifises, there are other ways to do it, but I go Direct.

    Though one day I finally walked into a fork on the road, I was walking along the Jansvula River with two researchers who studies animals and other fauna (mammals) that seems quite peaceful and aren't bothered by human presense though to explain that is rather difficult because of my presense, no matter what animals become rather passive when I approach one of them. These are animals that are hunted down for meat and fur, but we weren't here for that, we're just here to study them and their behavior.

    We've already got their biology when we prepared them for dinner back at the homestead last week, so we're all covered there, later that day I decided to head off into the woods and left the researchers there, big mistake, the main reason why those animals seem so passive, they're big buddy called an "Ancient" was right by there and I woke him up, heard the scientists shouting and then next thing I knew I looked like I was floating up with my back facing the ground, seconds later sword-like antlers were coming out from my chest and then I was tossed 15 ft into the air and back at the river. To them I was dead and they brought my body back to the homestead, until I got back up and nearly scared everyone to death, though while I was "Out" I noticed that one of the scientist was more sad about my supposed death because of the kiss on my cheek and warm embrace from the botanist girl, I did got slapped by her when everyone calmed down.

    Right after I got up, I swore myself that I saw the red ribbon, the same ribbon that I saw the day I put that mask on, I remembered it because it always looked tattered and worn with blood red color and the word "Live" written in white. After the incident I began secretly "Killing" myself and time after time I come back to life with no scars or wounds but it usually takes me about 5 to 10 minutes to come back from dying, if I do revive within 5 minutes, that's when I see the ribbon and everytime I see it, it would wrap around my neck gently like a snake that doesn't constrict. I'm literally immortal and that really threw me off, I can get sick, I can get cuts and wounds, food poisoning, but I have high tolerance to alcohol, and my lesson keeps on coming up, though I do recognize the fact that I'm unkillable but I dismissed it from my research because I've basically completed it, almost though, I just became one of the first test subjects in this research, so it's still on because my goal is to test limitations on 10 gods or immortals, so there's 9 more to go.

    Although I didn't really torture myself while trying to kill myself because I was mainly focusing on killing "myself," that's all I'm trying to do at that time, but I do remember what it was like when you're being interrogated and they torture you to give them information they want to hear, this, that, everything about that, etc. I don't mind torturing myself, it's only hard to take notes and asking the other scientists to torture me is out of the question because I know they would back down no matter how much I convince them. Lesson no. 012 doesn't really apply to if I can't take notes even if using a recording device would be another solution, I need to write down my findings, not hear them. Words through writing speaks a lot more than sounds scratched onto a medium.

    That little botanist girl can act cute sometimes, although back in their world, a female scientist is unheard of in Japan, but hey, we're in another world so there shouldn't be any reason to turn her down as a participants to enter this new world. I kinda feel like she's got a thing for me, but most of the time I always end up treating her like a little kid every now and then.

    On some days I'd head back to the other side of the Door and go back to my timeline just to get things I couldn't live without them, I get a lot of matcha sweets to last me a few days and buy a few anime series and keep em stored on my 8tb usb, though anime from 2030 and before are the best in my book, same goes for the little botanist girl who always seem to catch me watching my animes in secret whenever I'm not workin. There are times where she would have me hand over my tablet so she could watch the series she likes and there are times were I would school her in how to properly watch an anime series such as waiting at least a day to watch the next episode and all that stuff. Well even though I get some things from Japan, I still live in the U.S. A. and I still got a home there even though I'm renting it to a family of 4 and I just go there to check up on how they're doing and I also help clean up the place a bit as well as take care of the bill and other things like hearing what the man of the house wants to install and all that. They just pay for the rent whereas I pay for everything else and most of my financial support comes from investments and from the money I've saved up when I was working for Oakwells Security Agency and I saved a lot back then but now that my contract with them is over, I can live happily in a new life.

    I know pocket size music players don't exist in the 1950s and music applications don't exist there as well and if people from the 1950s and Allanzfar they'll look like little puppies tilting their heads side to side until they get so interested that they'd ask if they can hear, well the people of Allanzfar never really see me pulling out an music player so only the scientists from the 50s would be the ones who'd know and listening to music helps clear my head whenever I'm working on stuff and whenever I'm researching on how to capture immortal beings. I'm a music junkie and there are times where I'd just dance a bit, botanist girl dances to anime music and the rest of the guys do like listening music from the 20th century even though music from the 50s is also good. Maybe music from the 20th century just has a more better vibe in having people stand up and dance or to sing along side with.

    This world feels like a moment after a sprits of air freshener and every inhale fills you with calm bliss. There are no factories creating smog, no chem plants polluting the oceans, no lumber yards cutting down acres of forest, no concrete jungles filling every nook and cranny on a piece of land. This world may one day be used as an excuse to save the other side and to make more money for their deep pockets. No I said, no said the scientists who have spend 5 months in this new world, and no said the other researchers who's out on the other side of the Door, this place belongs to us scientists who wished to study this place and other to come. If those industrial giants do discover what we've stumbled across, I'll be the one to bring down the giants and break their castle of glass because my point of authority is that no one gets to take what I've found and even in my remains, there are others who share my idea. This world and any others we've discovered are for us to freely study their existence and compare them with that of our own world, we're not powerless, we're not like tinfoil, and our spirit for research can never be broken even until it breaks.

    Running low on provisions means we'd have to go back through the door to buy more provisions, however, I decided that it's high time I show these guys how to butcher an animal since I'm the only one who's mostly hunting game in this world and I've been thinking that it's time these guys learn how to hunt game if they wish to survive in this land if something were to happen to them while going exploring in this world. I couldn't really teach them but I've made a few friends back at the city of Jorgensal and a few of them were hunters who I helped with when their hunting dogs were ill, I've been making medicines with the help of Frenchy the Pharmacist, so I asked my hunter buddies if they can come over to teach my scientist buddies a few things when hunting for game and to also bring them out on hunting trips to earn a few Kaels for their pockets. Hehe almost everyone didn't want to do it because they felt there's no need until I convinced that this place does not have a trash disposal facility which is worse by all standards, better to just toss em in hot molten lava rather than a furnace, so in the end I got my way and I watched half of the scientists head off into the woods with my hunter buddies. With hunting taken cared off Frenchy got me and our German geolotist buddy out to look for herbs in the wilderness while the little botanist girl and Hope, the astronomer, to go into town to grab some ingredients from the marketplace, I guess Frenchy feels like if the hunting went well we should throw a party or maybe it's a "Maybe next time," party, hey at least it's a little distraction from working on studying everything in this world and not really taking a lot of breaks from time to time.

    Giving it into thought, it does seem rather impossible for a few dozen scientists to actually be able to build a place to live in, although that's only half true, 4 months ago I borrowed a few gold bars from the researchers back at the lab and traded it for more Kaels because as you can guess scientists like the ones that are accompanying me don't exactly know how to build buildings so I went to one of the city guild and asked if I could hire some workers to assist in constructing the houses at the homestead. I'm not worried about the labor costs since the tesk girl at the guild will inform me how much they'll charge once construction is complete. Worried? Well I don't exactly have a major in business, but, maybe next time I should do a background check on everyone back at the homestead and at the lab to see if anyone had a few experience with business and accounting but if I'm left with no other option I'll be willing to hire an accountant or secretary to help with future dealings with the locals and the guild.

    Discoveries and a baker's dozen of flesh.


    For future reference, most scientists are more adaptable at learning how to survive in the wilderness when you give them training, "Military" scientists to be exact, because most civilian scientists don't really go into the woods because most of their work revolves around a lab or similar places, although scientists whose job description is to study nature and all that are able to survive, some having packed the esstentials for their trip into the wild, though one little researcher is in favor of eating edible flora due to her innocent look in the animal kingdom. She's okay with eating river fish but the first time I told her that she'll have to kill a... let's just call them deers for now... because she calls them that based on similarities so when I informed her about that she acted like a little kid shaking her head refusing to go because she didn't want to "hurt" the deers, well not just her, about 4 others share the same, though I feel they're vegetarians.

    I told them that next week I'll bring them out into the wilderness to show them how to survive and that they're will be no slaying of animals for food and that we'll only rely on what nature provides, I've been going in and out of the forest and most of the time I stay there for a couple of days at a time so I've got some experience surviving in the wild. Well the first scientist who went with the hunters came back with a few game and we celebrated with a party... err... feast... we even invited the construction workers and their family so it was quite a feast, food was great, blah blah blah, party was great.

    I don't know how I feel being called Senpai... or is it sempai... I don't really get honoraries in Japan but eh it's better than being called Prof. Allguten by the others everytime something hits me or explodes in my face. I know its for respect for those of higher positions but I don't really care because we're just researchers and scientists, no one in our group is up to be Lead Researcher or Director, that may only apply if we're working on one project, but, what we're doing is here more freelance, something similar. Though technically I would be the project Director, the Door Way project and what we're doing here in Allanzfar is basically trying to understand worlds that is far different than our own. We could've gone with a much bigger door but trying to adjust the device was... is out of the question due to a lot of close calls and a few bald spots.

    Well a month ago I began doing some interviews with a few of the towns folk here but had a lot of talks from a few miners who were exposed to radiation, I figured radiation due to the symptoms and did a geiger scan at the mine they were working at, the city had to officially close it down since they didn't know what is affecting the miners. The section of where the radiation is was supposedly made due to the rich deposit of iron and tungsten they found the deeper they went until they hit a uranium deposit and that's when the miners working there slowly got affected. I asked the miners about that section of the mines and also questioned them about the gods and goddesses here in Allanzfar as well as ask about a certain kind of god I know.

    A week has passed and the "vegetarians" and I are out to the forest to start survival training, Mi-san (little botanist girl) actually hit my head when I quoted that at the front of the homestead but they all know I was just messing around with em. We set off to the forest northeast of the city, travel by food is fun and very good for health, maybe if there's a way to slow time by a minute, people would look healthier not that I'm complaining. Lately everyone in town has gotten to know our group and most of them would even come to us for medicinal aid and remedies for illnesses they're not familiar with, some of the guys at the homestead once worked at a pharmacy and clinic, maybe by the time I head back I should become a doctor since most of the cityfolk would come to us for injuries or severe illnesses, I guess graduating from a medical university makes you wanna go out and help heal everyone even though I choose to work as a security guard.

    The scenario always comes the same when it comes to survival, you either have experience and/or training or know the basics and for some people would find things that has been left there or stuff like that, though I'm not having anyone go through the same thing a certain survival show featured on air even though there were censored parts, so I told everyone that we'd only bring three things, a knife or any kind of blade, a hat, and lastly a canteen. At first when I told them that back at the homestead they wondered why until I asked them to put themselves in a position where they might've been a survivor of a plane crash or washed off onto a deserted island in the middle of the sea and they understood when I told them why these three things would be important to have, sure there are other things that are important to have in a survival situation but only those three came to mind and I went for it. Meh we could've gone out with camping gear but it wouldn't be much fun since it's a survival training and it'll be quite different for me since we'll only be eating edible flora and not animals... I mean fauna... Well after a few days of surviving with people who have different tastes of life you get to feel like you're mind is opening up, and when you're world has opened up more you feel respect for the people who made it possible. Other's would dislike it because they've always grown up in a closed empty space, unwilling to take what they believe is a lie and even so much as to shudder that the concept they believed in is shattered and turned out to be false. Give a few good people time to correct those stereotypes and the whole world changes for those who "are" good people, even though lies are the ones that made some people into what they are. Vegetarians chose not to eat meat not because of where they come from, but, because they feel sorrow towards the animal that's being slaughtered and sold at a market and you know what after thinking it through aren't animals just as smart as we are? We're animals too, but, we "want" things that helps us survive, so we eat more where as the creatures we call animals know exactly what they "need" to survive. We mass produce, they forage, we get more and want more, they know what they need and never hunt for more. Well with that in mind I feel less human even though I've become more that just a human being.

    T̶hòu͏gh ͠I'͜m̕ ̡m̴o͝re͜ ̨fa̴ci͘nat̨e҉d͏ ab͜o̧ut͢ ev̶e̷ryt̡h͞i͞n̷g ͞t҉hat͟ r̕ela̢tes to̧ y̛ou̵ ͘hu̶man̸s,̕ you͞'̡r͟e͝ so ͢m̨uc͝h̶ smar͠t͏e҉r͠ ̕t́ha̷n ̢y̧o͝u̢ th͡in̨k͞, b̴ut̸ ̨yo̴u̢ w̵or̸ry̶ ̧so̧ ́mųch̀ an̛d̷ ͜t̷h҉ink ҉yo͟u dón't ̡ha̴v͢e̷ eno͠ugh unl͢e͜s͠s yo͢u̢'r̢e̷ ón͝ a b͜ud̢g̸et and͘ ̡you ͞ķno̡w͝ w͝h͜a̸t̨ t̸o ͝gèt àt the͟ s͏tòr̵e̡ ̀when͡ you've fin͡is̡h͜ed͞ ͢w̵o̕ŕk̢. Y̢o̡u͏'͝r͡e al͡l͢ ͜s̸o ͞s͡m͢a͘r͠t̵, yet͠ s̡o̶ fr҉ag̶i̴le̡, ͏you ̕c̛an be̷ ̸t͞òugh̨,҉ but͏ ̡śtre͘ng͟t̀h̵ ̀alo͡ne͞ mak̶és͘ ͏i̕ţ ͏h́ar͠d͝e̕r̸ for y̵ou͜ ̨to ͠thi͢n̡k ͡s̸tr̡ai̕g̴h҉t wh̸e͜n͢ y҉ou̷ o͘n͜ly ̀re͟ly͞ ón͜ s̷t͠rength͟.̶ All̨ ̢of ̀you have̵ ̵c͟o͜u̕rag̴e͏ an҉d ͝y̢o͝u̴ ͘ne̕ve͘r ͢l̷ęt d̕es̕p̧a͠i͘r r̸uin ̸you ͘u̡nles͞s͠ ̕yǫu'̕rè s̕o̸ul is ̛wea̷k͏ ̶and̛ timid, c͡ow̷a̛rd́s̵ m̛a̛y̛ survive but they͜'r̶e̶ s͠t͘ill͝ c̨alle̷d͜ ̡c͝owa̧r̀d҉s, we͡akl̢i͜n͞g̴s a̧rèn'͡t w̡ea̛k if ̧s͡o͞me͢ ̡ćhos͡e t͟o͢ st͜a͢ņd̨ ͡u̡p̨ an͏d ̀cha͞ng̕e. ͘Th̨ere ̶ar̢e s̀o͝ ̢máǹy͘ k͞inds͝ o̴f͟ ̵h̷úm͡an͏ ̢b́e҉i͜ng̢ out̨ t̢h́e̶ŗé ͞t̶h̕at͡ ̀I'm ̵n̛o̡t̕ ̶ev͏en a͝war͝e̴ of͏f̡, y͜et͟ I͝'̴m awar͜e҉ o͘f̨ ͜m̛ost̵ com̢mon̕ ̸ones at̷ ͘be̸st. ͠Tho̡ưg͘h I ͢k̶i̡n̡da͢ w̷o҉nder,̕ ͜w͢e̢l͢l̡ I'͠ve f҉orgot͜t҉e͢ǹ w҉hat͠ it́'́s͝ like ͞to ͟be hųm͏a͘n, ev͠en t̕hou̶gh͘ I͟ was on͢è un͟t̸il ̴I ̧fouǹd͡ ͟t̛ha͟t Į còu͟ld͠n̶'t di͜è. ͡Ýou ́m̵ay ̕h̢a͠ve s̛e̸e͞n mé ̡a҉s̢ a͝ ̢m̢o͢ńs̵t͝e̛r ͜a͡nd ̢retalía͘t̕e҉ḑ, ͜we̴ll ͘ma͞yb͜e̡ I am onȩ,̵ ̨a ́m͘o͡ns̨t҉er growing̸ ̛in͟sid͡ę ̨a ͠hu͟man͢ ̡b̶od͏y̡,҉ I'̴m ҉m͘o̶re͞ ̢ḩųm͠an͜ you͜ ́t͜h̴ink͞ w̡it͞h l͘eśs͡ ͜th̸an ͠att͠ŕąctivę ̷e̴ye͢s af͡teŗ ̨wh͡at̵ you ̀di̵d҉ ̸ţo m̀e̢, bu͜t͠ ͞I̛ wo̸uldn'̶t͡ ͠ho̴ld ̧a g̡rùdg͏e͠ a͞ga̛i̡n̶s̕t you, ͠áf͢ter ál̛l, I'̸m̴ ̸a̧ ̀mon̢s̛ter̀ ̷wh̷ǫ ̡n̸eed̸s ̨to ̨b̀e̴ ̡s҉l̢ai͢n.҉Wel͡l t́he ͠goo̶d ͡ne̡ws̡ foŗ y̸ou ̴is̷ t̀h́a̢t͟ y͢ou͜'̨r̷ȩ ͡testś wi̧ļl͟ ͜bȩ ̧ov̷e̷r t́ǫm͝o̵r͠r͜o͠w,͟ ̸so m͘y a͘dvise̶ ͜i̷s that ͘you͜ ̡g̨et ̵ąs̛ mu҉ch̛ ̶pe̴a͘ce͢ ̶a̡s̀ yo͏u͢ ̕c҉án


    I woke up after another fractured episode, I'm getting used to them anyways but jumping back to a lapse is very disheartening, the first one was surprising when it showed me the last few moments I was about to die and didn't picked up the mask, the second brought me back to Auschwitz and seeing those prisoners being burned alive... I woke up feeling sick and crying all night, at least it showed me who I wanted to become in the future. But that day, my second new born tail appeared and I wanted to see if my first theory was right when the red ribbon appeared and the first thing that came to mind was "Stay Strong," though I wrote "SS," instead and despite that, I felt no doubt about whether or not I would be able to make sure everyone is safe during the survival training and anytime I would remember saying SS, Stay Strong will always be in my mind. It's like anything I think about when writing on these tails, I feel like a better person, like someone who'll always put a brave face on no matter what life throws at, someone with determination, someone who won't easily give in to their emotions, someone who'll see things to the end and not easily back down when backed into a corner. I must stay strong for humanity and to those around me.