• My friend was good at everything she did and I envied her, but we liked talking about and playing video games. Her name was Alicia and she was also my neighbor, she was also one year older than me. She had an older brother, his name was Nicholas, but we call him Nick for short. Me and Alicia's first few days together were mostly business games. She had a playground at her backyard and there were two swings included. We played something called "Circus" where I would go on the swing if I payed her like one or five tree leaves and she's twist the swing all the way around and once she couldn't twist it anymore, she let go and I'd be twisting really fast around and around and we'd take turns doing it. We went to the same Elementary School with me and we'd play on the field. Once, I was on the field and a soccer ball came flying at me and I got knocked out (what I was told) and I was still laying on the field with everyone crowding around me. That was so embarrassing..... well, back to the story. As time went by.... I was already in 6th grade, meaning Alicia was already in 7th grade attending another school, of course a middle school. During my 6th grade year, I was in a program, called Techstart, where you learn how some type of technology works, I was learning about robots. This program started after school (which is 4:40) to 5:15PM every Tuesday and Thursday. One day, I returned home from Techstart and around 7PM, Alica's mom and Nick came to our house. Without Alicia. Nick was holding Lily, Alicia's mom, helping her recover her composure. I took a closer look at Nick's face, it was blank. Lifeless. I asked Lily what was wrong and she kept repeating, "Alicia, Alicia! It's Alicia! She's..!!" At that instant, I woke my mom up. I kept wondering in my head, "Alicia? What's happened to Alicia? How come she's not with Lily and Nick?!" I came back to Lily and Nick with my family, Dad, Mom and Sister at our kitchen.

    Nick and Lily told us Alicia was dead. Alicia was at her grandparent's house eating dinner. But, she wanted her food to cool down because it was too hot so, she went to her grandparent's room and went to do her yoga on their bed. Supposedly, she did her yoga, but while she was doing it, a gun slipped from one of the pillows, and she picked it up with her left hand and put it up to her head and "accidentally" shot her self.

    My thoughts: This is a dream right, I'm about to wake up laughing saying to myself that never happened. But deep inside my heart I couldn't accept this one truth: It's real.

    The next two more days a funeral was held and all her friends and family came. I entered the funeral home and came up to her coffin. She was too young to die. She was only 12 years old. So young. I looked at her and it seemed like she wasn't even dead, more like pretending.


    In the end, Alicia was cremated and I wish for her to be well. I still have a hard time accepting what happened. I'm attending the same middle school now. I'm her age now.... ad soon I'll be older than her..... which isn't right. I want to say to her that, I'm mad at her, that what was going through her mind? Was she thinking she was playing Persona 3 or what?! But what I really regret the most is not calling her or even trying to understand her because I wasn't seeing much of her lately and the last time I saw her was when.... I didn't even try to make a conversation with her.... because I felt like she changed...for some reason I felt like she wasn't acting herself. That's why. I know it wasn't on purpose, but I just want to know what she was thinking about..... like wonton soup or sushi.....

    I hope I will have an easier way to accept this. I miss her so much. When I saw her coffin in felt more.... warm? Something I can't describe in words.... I hope she didn't do it on purpose (i know she didn't do it on purpose). On the bright side... I am able to move on now, because one of my friends, told me," You shouldn't let it occupy your life, but just don't forget her ending, because it was her most important thing in her story. The ending."I'd like to thank most of my friends who helped me through this passing, because of them, I wouldn't be able to.... move on. They helped me think about the good memories, not the ones I regretted the most. To put it simply.... they opened my eyes.