why can' t he notice me

• Artist: -Toykio-
• Description:
• Date: 10/20/2009
• Tags: notice

One thing I can’t figure out is why love is so complicated, when no one will listen, and no one will care. What’s the point of love is all you do is get rejected by the one love. But are you sure is love, Am I sure it’s love. Because all that’s blocking my heart is the dark shadows. All that fills my mind is the useless, sorrowful thoughts. Not because I got rejected by his soft tender words but because I got rejected by his insensitive crushed thoughts. I’m not a mind reader but I know what he’s thinking. Look at me; I’m not beautiful but just an ordinary average girl still trying to find her way in this cold unknown world. I break my mother’s heart just by the way I use my insensitive desolate voice. I break my own heart just by my mournful unbearable thoughts.

Comments

[Slinkenhofer]

This can hardly be called poetry. It's more a short blurb, or an anecdote.
Beyond that, you don't seem to understand the purpose of writing. The point is to describe every wretched feeling in excruciating detail. You need to articulate yourself in such a way that people feel your pain as much as you do. This is dull and uninteresting.

[foxy roxey 132]

i loved it and think every teenage girl feels like that somtimes and reading about others helps bost there confidence

[Reaper2601]

u didnt capture me in and it didnt say anything that i thonk u were trying to say it was unexciting and it really wasnt worth me reading it

[Etherlights]

Not really what I was looking for when I came into the writers section. To dull and it's like your talking to a friend about your problems with love..... Maybe just not my type of writing I guess.

[Le_Rainbow_Muffins]

justplain wierd

[lovergirl1129714]

i love it it was awsome