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Spinning, twirling, acrobatic
and that's not how it goes
tripping, tilting, systematic
quick erratic shows
falling, failing, faintly flailing
a little high and lots of low
wishing, wanting, forever daunting
ready, here we go!
It's not right, something's amiss
seal it with a single kiss
of death, of life, of steel resolve
of wrongs forgotten, sins absolved
and still suspicion looms so near
is that a break in flow I hear?
The rhythm's off its steady beat
it's different from its last retreat
this construction is lost again
this rhyme seems an awful strain
this line's too short
and this one is far, far too extensive
and is this one needed?
is this tone a little pensive?
But pensive, poems are
they're thinking, thoughtful things
like shoes and ships and sealing wax
like cabbages and kings!
Oh, I'm sure those lines are copy-written
and I've no intention to offend
dear, departed Lewis Carroll
which from whom those lines were penned
and was that last line proper?
I'm sure that's not the case
chalk it up to poetic license
as they're rather fitting in their place
and I know that you are thinking
this poem's gone on rather long
and I'm sure that your observations
are far from being wrong
but, with which to end this ranting ramble,
I can't find a fitting line --
oh, wait I think I've got it.
Yes, this one will do just fine!
- by Julia Dream |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 10/28/2008 |
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- Title: For lack of something better
- Artist: Julia Dream
- Description: To break the monotony of poems about broken hearts and tears of blood, here's something a little fun.
- Date: 10/28/2008
- Tags: lack something better
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Comments (7 Comments)
- Vocal Distortion - 12/06/2008
- NYA!~~~ ~.~ - biggrin
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- VietCandy - 12/06/2008
- how cute! It really is something fun. I kept reading it and I noticed subtle changes to the pattern of some sort that made it worth reading all the way through. Bravo!
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- SilvertongueSagittarius - 12/06/2008
- you, my friend, officially win the game of life. it was funny, passionate, it had a good flow and creative rhymes. It even had several bars dedicated to one of my favorite poets. kudos mon amie. btw, if you dislike the lame poetry on here, check out mine
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- xXCuddlie_Yet_ViciousXx - 12/06/2008
- lolz. i love this one biggrin
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- Tanner The Killer Panda - 12/06/2008
- Great! 4 stars
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- xXxKiss_Me_GoodbyexXx - 12/05/2008
- haha! the ends funny... though the rest is so beuatifil <3
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- a peace remaining - 12/05/2008
- Wonderful! I like this poem much better that "Words Can Be Cruel"! The timbre and rhyme of this poem are wonderful-- and I absolutely loved the reference you made to "The Walrus and the Carpenter"! But, isn't it "sealing" wax, not "ceiling" wax? Also, I'm not sure that you need the introduction stanzas-- the body is so wonderful on its own! Nice playful tone, nice diction, overall, nice execution! 5/5
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