a rose in the mist

• Artist: murder princess68---X
• Description: a difting rose on the sidewalk when u walk by, in the mist of the rain........is a sight to see to a broken heart
• Date: 07/17/2008
• Tags:

i kissed you

i held u

i love you so deep, and i held the rose you gave me, even in my sleep

a rainy day i go to see you, and what do i find

a women hold u in her arms ,but they werent mine

i couldn't believe it the man i love was cheating on me

my heart scream trust me it was a sight to see, but still when i looked it was there

ur d**k in her p***y, her fingers in ur hair

my heart was gone that day,and i died in that sight

nothing i could do but leave as a goodnight

i never thought it would be a goodnight of my life

it was ranning as i walked back in shame, the shame of thinking i use to scream ur name

my body was so numb, i drop the rose to ur door

i figure since my body was dying i didnt need it anymore

so it rained for day that i cryed, they dah u told me the lie, then it rained the day that i died

still in the mist to ur home, u will see

the rose on ur door step, to remind u of me

Comments

[Wicker Chair]

I agree with the below
however, there is some nice imagery in there
3

[Aen Veritate]

The spelling, grammatical, and punctuation errors put me off... Sorry.

[Essence of Play-Doh]

O.O Holy... Haha... I like it. smile

[Izenna]

This has the potential to be good, but it would never be published. There's far too many grammatical errors. Using capital letters and actually spelling out "your" would be a good start. Do some proofreading and it'll be fine.