Another poem

• Artist: iZexi
• Description: Another poem, isn't rele based on anything, just past experience.
• Date: 07/21/2008
• Tags:

You always knew that I wasn’t going to be the same
Yet you carried on...
Dragging me deeper into the black hole of which used to be my heart.
I’d lie awake and think of how you must all hate me.
...But why??
Do you not understand that that sometimes people can be fragile??
I am shattered glass...
Forgotten..
..Unworthy..
Broken..
You thought I didn’t know what you truly thought about me..
But I do..

I want to be happy, and thanks to you my life is now like a jigsaw and I am gradually putting the pieces of my life back together again.
You keep holding me back.
Let me be free.
Let me flourish my wings...and fly.

I want to be able to be happy like them...
...not the one that sits in the corner and cries...

So let me be...if one person could give me all that...then why can’t the rest of you??

Comments

[Atheshya]

I like the 'scattered thoughts' thing - it definately works for this. However, I do agree with Ninjitsuninja that I feel like I've seen it before. It needs more originality, but you're on the right track. The double question marks are annoying, as well. You should only use one question mark if you're going to use any at all. As for the rating, three stars.

[iZexi]

Yes i see your point, but this poem is different, its basically my thoughts on a page. hence the short sentences and pauses. My thoughts are scattered, i think tht is the best way to write a poem, by writing whats within, quite literally. but i value your opinion ^^

[Ninjutsuninja]

Very deep and heartfelt! I really feel the emotional connection between you and your poem. However (sorry, inner English teacher gonna come out and go Godzilla all over your literary Tokyo now) I feel that the writing in this very… well… I feel like I've seen it before. However, that's just my opinion. I like my poetry to be different, I don't like seeing the same thing over and over. So if I were you, I'd try to take the feelings and ideas in this poem, and write it differently. Peace <3

[iZexi]

thank you ^^; its sad but true i think

[BETALOVER_96]

I meant to rate it at 5 stars. sorry the one star was only a typo

[Ania Colvin]

crying heart THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!

[Paintwiththewind]

cool poem