Asleep

• Artist: Dark_Gale017
• Description: I wrote this before a came out. It was about three years ago, its not the best Ibut it is the best if that makes any sense.
• Date: 08/09/2008
• Tags:

Sometimes, when I can’t sleep.
Thoughts race through my mind.
Should I tell them, no I shouldn’t.
How would they react?
What would they say?
Would they,
Hate me,
Love me,
Abandon me,
Disown me,
Ignore me,
Fix me?
I can’t stop the thoughts,
I can’t make it go away.
My screams are silent.
My pain invisible.
They never see me,
They see the illusion that is me.
To them my life is so simple but if that were true,
I would be asleep.

Comments

[Sasori rocks puppetry]

this is really good and i am agreeing with duo

[Sugar Quill Drops]

This one is spectacular. However, this line... "Should I tell them, no I shouldn’t." would read better as, I think, "Should I tell them, or should I not?"
I'm trying to figure out what your poems and stories are about.. I mean, I have a hunch, but I'm not sure. I wouldn't want to offend you or anything by saying it either, unless you're okay with me telling you. If that makes sense.
Anyway, 5 stars. smile

[DigitalMami]

again i love this poem so
it also the most highly rated
a little bit of words can say so much

[DigitalMami]

captivational i can relate to this love it pm me

[Duo-Maxwell017]

I like it, it really tells a little about how you felt at the time. 5/5