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I sit alone, thinking deep,
All of those mysteries running about.
By now, I should be asleep.
But I hear my parents speaking loud.
I hear glass breaking and know mom's passed out,
He will come for me next, without a single doubt.
If only someone would listen to my pleas.
Somebody, I need help, does anyone hear me?
Dad stumbles in, a beer bottle raised over his head.
He wants to know why I'm not yet in bed.
I cower to the corner, a tear strays down my cheek.
Using the bottle he hits me hard, I can barely think.
His liquid flies, burning my face,
I'm hearing his lies as he 'puts me in my place.'
I think I've gone blind, because everything is dark.
I hear him still shouting, but in my mind I see a park.
He's now demanding I open my eyes,
Apparently, I'm not really blind.
I amaze myself with the fact that I can see,
But I never realized that again he was aiming for me.
His hand hits my face, probably leaves a bruise.
I'm screaming out in fear, because I feels so used.
Dad tells me that I'm worthless, that I screw up every day.
I sit there in my corner, tearfully feeling ashamed.
Then he takes a small step back, and I think he's back to his senses.
But he picks up his bottle again, planning for more offenses.
Shouting out words, calling me names,
I'm feeling sick, want to wipe off my face.
If there's a God, and he's out there, is he waiting for me?
Or does he like watching, as my dad does everything?
Is there any compassion, or love in this world?
My dad stumbles for a moment, I think he might hurl.
But never can I blame him,
It's only because of the beer.
When he's not drinking he's saner,
but he only drinks when he's here.
I suppose that it's my fault,
He kicks me now, and tells me stand up.
Daddy demands that I fight like a man.
So I slowly get to my feet, attempt to throw a punch.
But in moments I'm down again.
I'm weak, but I'm alright,
Though he's hurt me with all his might.
I plead silently with my tears, hearing the sound of something crack.
I feel numbness in my left arm, but I don't know where it's at.
If I die, please tell my mom,
That I always had her to blame.
Tell her that she could have stopped,
My daddy's terrible ways.
Eventually, daddy falls.
And I manage to get up for good.
The phones are not working,
The lights have been knocked out.
I know that mommy's dead,
Her pulse has just now stopped.
A murderer, an abuser,
That's who my father is.
He seems to hate me so much,
But I can't help but love him.
I guess that's how life works,
People can hurt you most.
But nobody's ever hurt me,
As much as my own ghost.
I can hear daddy stumbling in,
And I'm trembling in numb fear.
Maybe he won't see me.
If only I weren't here.
But I know he's going to beat me,
At least until I can't breathe.
He'll say it's all my fault,
And call me terrible names.
Daddy's just this way sometimes,
So please, God, don't get mad.
Let him into heaven.
He's really not too bad.
I kind of wish he'd stop hurting me,
It just makes him even worse.
He tells me he's sorry every morning,
That he was such a jerk.
As he comes for me, I feel an adrenaline rush.
Tears begin to flow,
And I attempt to duck.
His hand hits me, this time hitting my neck.
I'm feeling no more pain, I think I'm almost dead.
When I crumple, he won't give up,
I know he's trying his hardest.
I'm quite scared, and numb,
But death is far better than this.
Every night it's the same though,
He goes for mommy first.
I guess that now it's my turn,
To get my just desserts.
- by SchizophrenicxPsychopath |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 08/13/2008 |
- Skip
- Title: My Just Desserts.
- Artist: SchizophrenicxPsychopath
- Description: It's my own poem about child abuse that I created a few years ago. I then edited it on here. If anyone likes it, I hope you'll vote. <3
- Date: 08/13/2008
- Tags: poem childabuse fictional realistic
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Comments (4 Comments)
- kgga3 - 04/08/2009
- Don't worry though! I'm in a better situation now... My real dad's dead.. He loved me and I love him... he was sorry and never touched me again... My step-dad and mom are getting a divorce... I have a boyfriend that treats me like a goddess and loves me more then life itself! I couldn't be happier!!!
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- kgga3 - 04/08/2009
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.... I hate men... I didn't go through something that drastic... No neither of my father's were drinkers... that was before my time... But one strangled me on the staircase the other slammed me into a wall... twice... I had given up hope for malekind... But I think I've finally met someone who will treat me right... okay... point....
Life sucks before it gets better... I relate to your poem... I've been through moments like that... can't imagine if they were drinkers... It was terrifying... - Report As Spam
- xXDark_Vampire_LoverXx - 01/05/2009
- it was... nicely written.... sad thing is, i know a girl who had to go through that..
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- ~Shadey Sam~ - 12/18/2008
- wow that was DEEP. I feel terrible for people who go through that. It was a very good and insiteful poem.
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