Sunrise

• Artist: Lunar Goddess Mitsu
• Description: I wrote this poem out of sorrow when my first boyfriend left me for the new girl right after she had become my best friend.
• Date: 10/17/2008
• Tags: sunrise

SUNRISE

As the sun begins to rise,
all I see is him in my eyes.
But I never will forget,
how he left me,
for my best friend.

Please go away,
I'm having a bad day.
'Cause I never will forget,
how he left me,
for my best friend.

Now as the sun sets,
all I have is regrets.
I will never forget,
how he left me,
for my best friend.

Comments

[E d i b l e F l o w e r]

Its rough, but you seem to have a very good grasp of structure, repetition, and like literary tools. "Please go away/ Im having a bad day" was my favorite line, I think it sounds a bit more like song lyrics than not, though. Keep writing poems, and good luck with the whole situation <3
^ ^'

[Kawaii Rabi-chan]

wow the poem was so meaningful and it was a very nice poem