• the room seems kinda hazy
    sweet dripping from my face
    the covers of my bed
    being tossed from left to right
    its another sleepless night
    not much different from the others
    just the thoughts of days gone bye
    haunting every thought thats in my mind
    reminding me of a time
    when i felt so worthless and denied
    a time so long ago
    but seems like just yesterday
    as soon as i'm asleep
    it all becomes fresh inside my mind
    i have to bite my lip so i wont scream
    and wake my parents
    this painful agony
    they think i'm fine
    and cant remember
    that one horrible December
    i was 2 and still a child
    cradled in my mothers arms
    wishing the monster would go away
    so my mom would be ok
    but things just got worse
    left alone for 13 strait hours
    till my neighbor would hear me cry
    and come take me to her house
    till my mother came back home from work.
    that was 13 years ago
    things are different and not so bad
    i have a mom and dad who love
    now that i'm in foster care.
    no one likes to tell me how i got here
    they pretend they cant remember
    or say it shouldn't matter
    why my mother gave me up
    just that she had the heart to give me a life
    that would be better for me
    and have a life with much potential
    not something she could ever give
    so she left me on a door step
    knocked three times
    then left me there.
    to this day i wish i could know her
    see what she looks like
    where she lives
    ask her questions only she could answer
    and hug her tight with both my arms
    i miss her deeply and so much
    if only i knew just who she was
    i will search until i'm dead
    to find the women who gave me life
    and cared enough for me
    to say good bye