• emo crying what is a birthday when you are not happy?
    what is a normal day when you are not happy?
    my birthday feels like any other day,
    but filled with more sorrow.

    i know he can't be here
    and i know i don't want anything but him.
    atleast he can call right?
    atleast he can message me, right?

    my birthday is full of sorrow.
    my friends keep asking me what i want...
    i keep replying: i don't want anything,
    i don't want to seem selfish or greedy.
    and besides the thing i want, i can't have.

    everyone is telling me to have a small party
    i don't want to
    they want me to cut a cake
    i don't want to.

    i want to go to a resturant and chill with my family.
    but i know that my dad will get mad
    then have a drink.
    then piss off my mom,
    and ruin the whole day.

    today already started out with a fight.
    the day slowly ends but i want it to be quicker.
    Can i be happy?
    when so many things have happened?
    My friend commited suicide 2 weeks ago,
    i have a boyfriend that i love,
    and its my birthday.

    so many things happen.
    oh wait. don't forget about halloween!
    i hate my birthday.
    to everyone i'm telling them i hate it because i feel old
    when i'm younger then everyone.

    i wish for today to end
    and to get a call from him.
    i hate it
    i hate it
    i hate it
    i feel so lonely.
    no one calls except family.
    at school yeah people gave me stuff,
    but i still feel lonely
    i hate it, i hate it
    i hate it.
    I WANT HIM.