• Sit in silence,
    with noise in your head,
    smoke in the air,
    lung burning red,
    your eyes not wanting to open,
    destroyed by the air,
    I'm glad I'm not there,
    while i was once with them,
    I felt a cold chill,
    of stupidity mock me,
    and quickly left them all hanging,
    not knowing my reason for being there,
    But now its the silence,
    I do not really fear,
    more am only cautious.
    because it brings back the things I hate most,
    my own doubt and self,
    that I have battled with so much,
    it is not even a winning battle,
    or one I can tell that at least I'm not losing,
    so all I do is evade and strike behind the lines,
    hoping the tactic will weaken the walls,
    as I must now do the one thing I never could before,
    wait....
    wait in not only shadows but in a pit,
    off the path they normally take,
    they being a term,
    that doesn't describe what I mean,
    like all the others,
    but is closest to understand,
    whatever comes across my trap,
    isn't going to be able to recover,
    its just that the only way it would help me,
    is if I force the others hand,
    its like fighting on a front that seems useless,
    and waiting is so hard to do,
    when it is the prize I can see,
    but cant reach with current life,
    since it was a trap I saw just before,
    it was luck that has helped me,
    and ones who I hold close,
    but now is it time,
    that I should wander off,
    and not tell them goodbye,
    since I will not let them know,
    and my thoughts must let them go,
    It will be the greatest test,
    of myself and the war I fight,
    its funny when,
    I sit back tonight,
    its hard to sometimes remember its just my description of,
    the things that happen when,
    I am the silent one.....