Broken......

• Artist: xXRave AngelXx
• Description: A small poem I wrote when I lost someone special to me.....
  please vote fairly, this is my first time trying to enter,
  so I would appreciate some nice comments, like trying to help me out, my mistakes, what I could do to make it better....etc.
• Date: 11/02/2008
• Tags: broken

"Broken......"





Something deep inside me
It's eating it's way at my heart...
Because whenever I start to think of you,
I just start to fall apart...

With all the fighting and with threats at a high,
I just can't take any more of your lies...
So I have to come out and say,
Why did it have to be this way?

Was it something I did?
Something I said?
Because now I'm sitting here, filled with dread

And it's all because of you,
You, you, you!
You know it's true!

Don't hide your face in the shadows of your own dispair!
And act like you don't give a care!
For you do know that you made a mistake,
But you really want to believe it's all just fake.

So hide your shame in that twisted mind of yours,
But I hope that you know I won't be coming back to your door,
Because this time it's your fault,
Your the one to blame!

And so that little picture of you in that golden frame,
Will be forever broken,
Just like my torn up heart.

Comments

[jorun 1981]

That poem sounds really wonderful.5/5

[wolfess81]

Oh wow really cool poem.5/5

[Ms Make Me Smile]

ok heres what i think the poem sounds like its someone who committed suicide and then you hate them for it. i thought the stucture was brillant i think it would be better with more passion and better imagery but the emotion is brillant in it and for first time its really good 4 stars

[Depressed_Teddy_Bear]

awwwww you are so berry talented! you rock