Ice Maiden

• Artist: OniMiMi_RiceballPimp
• Description: A poem I made for my character named, Cygnus Korime, for my series, Saint Mythology: Legend of the Myths. This poem explains the relationship between her and her husband, Noah. He was the only one who saw her for her, instead of her icey exterior.
• Date: 12/16/2008
• Tags:

When he say here he saw a beautiful princess,
The others mainly call her the Ice Mistress,
Her wondered why the ice,
Was it because she wasn't nice,
She's trapped in a world of nothing but white cotton,
The sad, and lonely Ice Maiden,

He soon mets the maiden of ice,
Looking into her frozen eyes,
She doesn't feel his love for she has no emotions,
Her world was so cold and frozen, spinning in slow motion,
He felt her, she was so cold to the touch,
But he doesn't care cause he loves her so much,

Her eyes full of tears,
But they only freeze and disappear,
Her heart was alone and so old,
That's why the Maiden was so cold,
But he saw there was more to unfold,

His kiss finally melts the frozen cold,
Then he finds her beautiful heart of gold,
Protecting her in his arms,
Always keeping the maiden warm,
Soon he saw something beyond her beauty,
A smile on her face show she was happy,
As he watches her beauty go above and beyond,
He sees the maiden become a beautiful swan.

Comments

[Jerry64]

I like that poem. It emanates happy emotions and that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you are with a loved one during the cold winter. For those below me, I believe that it is up to the poet's choice whether to rhyme or not. By the way, I don't think Amber is "stupid" for articulating a well thought-out suggestion. I mean calling someone stupid is just too degrading for my taste. Especially when it is a lighthearte

[UnmeiBara]

Really great Eri-chan~ Is there anymore? ^-^

[Cat Named V]

Rhyming is good. Don't listen to stupid Amber. But you just aren't very good at rhyming.

[Pressure Sensative]

The idea is good, but remember that all poems don't have to rhyme... All the forced rhyming is unnecessary, and I think this could sound a lot better if you let the poem flow, instead of trying to make it rhyme so much...