That's All That's Important

• Artist: Fake Silence
• Description: This is the first time I ever submitted anything to the arenas here. These are just a few random lines... It could be meant for somebody you love very very much, but, i think it works better for God. Comments welcome.
• Date: 01/05/2009
• Tags:

Trust.
Love.
You.
That's all that's important.

All that used to matter,
I don't really care about them anymore.

Trust.
Love.
You.
That's all that's important.

I.
Love.
You.

Comments

[Tahi the Treacherous]

I like your repetition. It really puts emphasis on select words. If I were to make a recommendation, it would be to take advantage of the "break" you have inbetween. The phrase is basic, true, but this is your chance to expand upon your words and get your feelings across to us. The end, too, is simple, but feels unresolved. With such focus on three words, I would have liked to see them tie together somehow.

[yinyangtwinsxss]

ah, no I don't like this one ..not one bit.

1/5

[P00R L3N0]

even though this is short. i enjoy it greatly.
I agree that those three things are really what's important.

[290DarkStars]

sorry... but if it diddnt look so last sec. i wouldhave liked it more. 2/5

[xXRawr-GirrXx]

It may be short, but it seems that you've gotten your point acrossed. [*Note: tear goddess] It's not about how long the poem is or if it rhymes or not, it's about expressing your feelings in an almost musical way. You've listened to music no? Sometimes music rhymes, sometimes not. Sometimes the beat is catchy, sometimes not. But as long as what the person is trying to explain is explained, it's all good.

4/5

[tear goddess]

... Bit to short, maybe a few more lines, orrr, rhyming a few things, orrr, matching syllables... Thats just me though. Sorry,2/5