Less Then Perfect

• Artist: Anti Angelix
• Description: My first attempt at a sonnet.
• Date: 02/08/2009
• Tags: less then perfect sonnet

You are not perfect, I observe each wrong,
However, I have never loved you less.
I stayed right by your side now for so long,
And held you high throughout this eternal mess.

Why can’t you see how much you mean to me?
For all your love does my heart burn alive.
Why can you never look me in the eye?
Why can you not assure me we’ll survive?

I want to scream but I can’t let it out,
Compassion, trust, I want the traits you lack.
But I know you’re not fine, without a doubt,
Your heart has been destroyed, now cold and black.

I said goodbye too many times before,
So tell me why you bruise me to the core.

Comments

[Eisette]

I agree with below comment ^^ I also noticed how the last line of the rhyming couplet is phrased as a question, but doesn't have a question mark. I think it's a great first attempt though, and I recommend you keep at it biggrin

[aL ycious]

The tags for your poem are: less than perfect sonnet.

Work on the rhythm and rhyming pattern. Also try less cliché word choices. "I want to scream but I can't let it out"? Every time I hear that line it just sounds more and more meaningless - and believe me, we've all heard phrases like that countless times.