Notice Me

• Artist: Tophmasta
• Description: This is a poem I wrote many years ago.
• Date: 04/14/2009
• Tags: love

As she walks past me,
I pray for her to notice,
To notice me sitting there,
As she passes by me,
She don't even glance down,
Down upon me sitting there,
As I lower my head,
A see feet and hear a voice,
The voice sounded like an angel,
For that angel was her,
She says to me in a sweet voice,
I miss you and I love you,
As I raise my head,
I return those special words,
All will be well,
For my heart knows whats right.

Comments

[SolsticeXII]

It sounds as if she never talked to him until now and just decided that she loves him. And the "I miss you" sounds as if she is not there. (or did you mean she misses how he used to be and that he changed?) Sorry for writing such a long comment... >.>

[SolsticeXII]

There are a couple spelling errors. (I found two) And the line "She don't even glance down" sounds very informal because it is not proper English and it doesn't fit with the rest of your poem. Truthfully, the end is confusing. Because the poem seems to take place in a time span of no more than 2 minutes, it makes very little sense when you say "I pray for her to notice" and then, "She says to me in a sweet voice, I miss you and I love you"

[elliryanna55]

I loved it razz

[Ivory Of Scarlet Blood]

its amazing!

[scitama]

Nice poem smile