cold winters night

• Artist: ColdxLunarsxXxRemorse
• Description: this is a sonnet of what i feel and am... 14 lines of my life almost
• Date: 05/22/2009
• Tags: cold winters night

the wind whistles on this cold winters night
the snow falling sloly all around me
all the birds have long since taken their flight
i lay high up in this old tree
staring, watching this beautiful night sky
by myself, the snow blanketing everything
i wait as my time drips slowly by
i myself being the only living thing
living in this moment forevermore
the snow blankets everything as a white powder cover
being alone nevermore
all of it embracing the world as a lover
this cold winters night is all i know
all i can hear is the lonely call of a single old crow

Comments

[Winter Masquerade]

Its good, but you didn't quite follow the structure of a sonnet :/ 14 lines, 10 syllables per. You got the rhyme scheme right, and the couplet at the end is right too. It's good, though. 4/5.

[ColdxLunarsxXxRemorse]

the last line symbolizes that no one is out there and no one can save me. most people like ryhme scheme it keeps it a little less confusing and ok.

[TheKhamaseen]

oh this was like good- then you ended it with 'all i can hear is the lonely call of a single old crow'- blew it. the final line, betrays everything the poem seemed to have been building to. also don't feel the need to have a rhyme scheme, despite what most people seem to think it worsens the writing.

[ColdxLunarsxXxRemorse]

no comments???...anyone