no point to life

• Artist: havikdemond2
• Description:
• Date: 12/22/2009
• Tags: dying

my heart honetley cant take much more
the pain that severs my heart cant be stopped
like an unavoidable dagger to my throat
im just a loser living in no ones skin
why do i live
just a piece of s**t living without a reason
whats the point in living without an existance
this depression that im living in can no longer be avoided
i have to face my death
but not with myself
its not that i dont wanna die
i dont wanna die without a reason
or a way to pay back for all the pain that im not going to cause
because ill be dead by the time you say the things to me
if i have no reason for living then why am i?
life is worse with me alive
there is no reason for this
no love
no family
no missery
no light
and no you
this isnt some pathetic suicide letter to myself
no
its much more than that
these words will stay with you till death
but then again arnt we all ready dead?

Comments

[XPoisonedXRosesX]

*to jaejoongKimforever* I like it how your telling him how to improve

[JaejoongKimforever]

This is lacking in structure and organization
you begin the poem with some powerful images
but u lose those images a quarter down the poem.
poems are meant to speak through images.
u can also use harsh consonants to emphazise the pain expressed in the poem.
examples of hard consonants are : crisp, crack, crumble.
when u hear the word crisp, the word sounds crisp itself.

You could incorporate that into your poem

other than that, nice poem smile

[BloodStainLoveStory]

nice work dude, needs a polish with some capitalization but other than that an ace effort imo
check out my stuff, tell me what you think

[BatzLove]

dead, alive, what does it matter? live on. everything will be fine. ///-^ nice poem.

[Salornix]

Try and go through it with spelling check. And capitalize the beginning of new lines 3/5