• right now i am just FULL of pent up energy.
    Everything is going into fast forward, i'm not satisfied with this blur. but anxiety's taking me over and i'm going to explode!!! I'm all wiggly and can't stop moving and frustrated and so not inspired by anything at all, but i want to move and just wriggle around or curl up in a ball, but would be great is to feel the pencil in my hand brushing up against a blank and open, wide canvas in swift movements! creating some weird sort of something, many lines all together into figures and shapes and i will call it my masterpiece, even though i know there is still much more to be desired in my art. there is still so much more to be desired in EVERYTHING!
    everything i do, every step i take, every word i speak. i feel like life's not giving me anything I deserve, it could just share a little more something, but maybe I still wouldn't be happy.

    I'm sighing deeply and grabbing handfuls of hair and squeezing my eyes shut to block out reality and life that is moving all around me. I want to break out into a run and run and run until i can't run anymore! then I'll collapse and the earth will take me in and make me a nice bed of grass and flowers.
    And I'll stare up at the sky and notice that "hey, the world really does look kinda' roundish, or spherical, or semi-circleish at least" and look up at the world and watch the clouds and the sun until it's nighttime and I'm sleepy and all the stars come out to play. and i'll gaze at the moon, which looks the way i feel, so tiny! so far away! And suddenly I'm not so drowsy anymore! and i'll hop up from my bed of grasses and flowers, and dance in twirls and spins around everything, and sing to myself, the most silliest songs.

    And I'll write poetry about my night when i get home, and say funny little nonsense things.

    for neither the moon nor the sun can rival the stars in her eyes, daydreamer!!