• I can’t remember how to feel, how to think. Everything is new, and dull, and colorless. My eyes are finally opened but I feel more blind than before. I can’t remember who I am or where I’ve been or what I’ve done. I can be sitting on the floor staring at a wall moment and I am suddenly standing outside in the middle of a storm. There is no beginning middle and end for me anymore. Everything that is just is. There is nothing behind it, nothing inside it. I am more alone now than before the day we met. Nobody to love, nobody to trust. Nobody to share, nobody to care, or love, or help, or just be there. I can see you standing in front of me now, but I see nothing, as the cord has been cut. I am alone and you are just another person standing in my way as I walk down the side of the road. I won’t cry for you, I won’t apologize to you, you will forget I was ever in your life. And I will survive on my own, day by agonizing day, until I reach the end of that road. And I will not say I love you or goodbye.