death

• Artist: theNamesAvery
• Description:
• Date: 08/01/2010
• Tags: death

Death.. Is a dark.. And cold creature.. It comes in the night silent and mysterous.. Death.. Such a sly tricky creature.. It decieves you.. And has you welcome it in.. Doesn't seem like a harmful creature.. it covers up like a wolf in sheepskin.. It looks nice,fun,and cool.. Oh what a sneaky creature death is.. So cunning it can be.. Why when you let death enter your home you open your home.. To evil and hatered.. Oh why it looks as cute as a kitten and as friendly as a child.. But as soon as you tease deaths flames.. You come fond of it.. And then you tease it a little more.. Soon it will look like a lollypop.. So colorful.. And delicious.. But once you take a bite of death.. You will crave for more and more.. And once you had a mouthful.. Soon you want a plateful.. Oh what a wonderful thing death.. Is.. But wait until.. It has been quenched and it is done.. With the games.. Just wait and see.. It will start to reveal it's true identity.. And once you see and taste the truth.. You hate it.. But it's to late.. Your already consumed...

Comments

[Bald Aguila]

I like it, but I feel it could've been better if you had used a little more variety in your punctuation. Commas are helpful. Also, you could've run it through a spelling and grammar check. And you may have said something about how Death looks "cute as a kitten," because for most people, that doesn't make any sense at all. I can understand it, though, and it is a good topic for poetry. 4/5

[Shrouded Nightmares]

Ahhh..... Not the best 3/5

[Azal_Son of Anubis]

Strange 4/5