• The Pain Makes It All Go Away
    I walk alone, in the midst of the dark , as I wonder, why I was alone from the start. I start to think, that maybe this is how it's supposed to be, a girl all alone, only 15 years old.

    When I try to be happy, it just naver happens for me, I feel like iv'e been hurt, beaten and tormented. I have these visions, of perfection, but for some reason, none of it is me.

    I have those days, when i'll try to be happy, but depression seems to overtake me. I hide in my closet, trying to survive another night, in this broken home.

    Mom and dad, never understood why I would take a blade to my wrist, instead of dealing with my pain . I needed to cut, it was my only release, to let it all go, to watch myself bleed.

    The pain felt good, it was all a part of me, all that I had understood. I know that it was wrong, for me to slash my wrists, to feel alive, but what was I supposed to do, when I always felt like I was dying?
    I sometimes contimplate suicide, in that hopes that everything would go away, but then I think about the ones I love, who would frown apon me , willingly going to the 'above promiseland'.
    Why am I so selfish, as to even think of taking my own life, when all that would lead to, is the end of the fight? I don't want to give up, I don't want to die, but I hope that someday soon, I will finally feel alive.