Favorite Quotes

[Orizion]

Now we can retire to the moooon!!!

Hello, Marzipan! This is Professor Tor Coolguy! I was just calling to see if you'd be interested in PREPARING FOR YOUR DOOM!! Er...e... not really calling to see, uh... I shouldn't have really given you a choice, I mean, uh... you should just go ahead and prepare for your doom. Cause it's on its way, man. It's gonna be some doom.  

[Soultrain]

Dear Prisoner Number 5408, aka Strong Bad, aka Professor Tor Coolguy, I can only hope your incarceration turns your life around as much as it has mine. I feel... cooler, and... less like I suck so bad. I've made some changes around the house. Your computer room is now my Tai Chi space.  

[Orizion]

It was Biscuit Dough Hands Man! I knew it!

All right, Pom Pom, the Poopsmith is missing, and we gots to find him. We're your first and last line of defense! Only you can prevent scouting! Boy, do we need forest fires!

You sold me out. You sold me out! The Cheat, tell him that he... Oh, never mind.  

[Soultrain]

Once again, Biscuit Dough Hands Man slips through our fingers.  

[Lord Derpingsworth]

Only liars and thieves eat Grumblecakes, and those people go to prison. Just ask the Cheat!  

[Soultrain]

What?! What the crap just happened?! Is it possible that I was just... outsmarted by Homestar Runner?! I'LL GET YOU KEVIN GRUMBLES!!!  

[Orizion]

What would I do differently Richie? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Well, except I might go back and taste out one of them Cheatcakes. Those things looked a-pretty good!  

[Soultrain]

No, big guy, that's not The Cheat. That's Homestar! From school!

Meedley mee! I'm The Cheat! I'm not from school! Moooooo!

Uh, The Cheat's not a cow, you know...  

[Orizion]

Homestar, can you pass the Soy Crisps?

Mmuuuh-huh!  

[Soultrain]

What would you do if I took off my shoes?
Would you throw 'em right out in the street?
Give me your nose,
I'm gonna give you a clothespin,
'Cause you know that I got stinky feet! Oh!

(Try with a little help from my friends)

I need french fries!

(Try with a little help from my friends)

You guys remember high five eyes!

(Try with a little help from my friends)

How about a dozen more of those pizza pies!

What do I do when my shoes go away?
Right to the cobbler, that place in the bar
That says "while you wait
Repairs done cheap"
But I know that's BS! Oh!

(Try with a little help from my friends)

Oh, you know I try!

(By with a little help from my friends)

{unintelligible}

(Try with a little help from my friends)

Whoa, please pardon me guys!

{Puppet Homestar begins shaking}

(Do you need anybody?)

AGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! {drops out of view}

(Could it be anybody?)

{comes back into view} I need somebody,
Somebody with no arms,
Somebody with a propeller cap on,
Somebody... with a broom lady for a girlfriend!

(By with a little help from my friends)

Oh, I get by!

(By with a little help from my friends)

You know They Might Be Gi... Ants!

(Try with a little help from my friends)

Oh, I get by!

{singing with the chorus} By (with a little) help from my friends!

I get by... help from my friends!  

[Orizion]

What is that stupid word?

Flagrant system error

The system is down. I dunno what
you did, moron, but you sure
screwed everything up good.

Uh-oh. This does not look good for Homestar Runner.  

[Soultrain]

Dear Sir Strong Bad stop
How do you manage the telegramophone whilst
wearing gentleman's sport gloves? stop
signed, Lord Elsington Hallstingdingdingworth

Curses! This is all anyone ever asks me. You buffoon! Stop. You...carpetbagger. Stop. I'll give you what for!
The Sneak! How was that? I told that poor sap I'd give him what for! Yes... now go and steal me fresh jam!  

[Orizion]

((I wish I would've posted this yesterday, since I turned 25))

Sorry about that. What were we talking about?

The tightest of pants.

Once again, I point the blame squarely at tight pants.  

[Soultrain]

So, ladytype, I'm wearin' tight pants so as to accentuate all my bubbleties!
Have I broken up with you yet?
Yeah, a couple times.  

[Orizion]

I also have some good news for you single ladies out there. The cinder block is going to break up with the sign.