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Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 11:36 am
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I'm a step mother. my husband and I each had a child from our previous marriages and our kids are the same age. I love my stepdaughter dearly, as my only child is a boy, so this is the daughter I never had, tho she lives with her mother about 45 mins away.
the problem is... her mother is an incredibly selfish woman, who lies and manipulates others to suit her needs whatever they may be at the time. often-times, she'll change existing plans on us (for example change the time and place we're to bring Hayley to her) -even multiple times, changing plans on us 3 or 4 times every 15 mins- and holds her custody over my husbands head whenever he complains, threatening to keep him from seeing her altogether. she'll just change the rules when she feels like it for her own convenience, and I hate it! but I dont know what to do. in the past she's even insinuated that it's automatically MY responsibility to pick Hayley up if my husband has to work (he has a very changeable schedule) as if I'm somehow in their divorce decree (I went totally off on her that time), as if it's more MY responsibility to get Hayley here than it is hers to get her own daughter here. Hayley doesnt like living with her mother either. She's 14 now and they've really been butting heads, and for Hayleys sake I will come get her, but I hate that her mother wont lift a finger.. being used like this and not being able to say or do anything about it for love of Hayley and her father.... any suggestions?
(I realize many of you are my childrens age and dont have this particular experience except maybe from the kids point of view, but I'm aggrivated to the point I just need to vent.) scream
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Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 11:56 am
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Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2007 12:34 pm
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Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 5:23 pm
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Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 6:20 pm
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Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 6:28 pm
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Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 6:36 pm
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Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 7:23 pm
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Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 1:22 pm
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Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 2:33 pm
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Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 2:39 pm
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Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 5:16 am
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4 yrs is a really long time. sadly, the only thing i could think about u've ruled-out twice, for the same, and perfectly understandable, reason. going to court and switching custody [since she now may decide for herself] is about the most effective thing u COULD do. however, lawyers are ridiculously expensive, so it's understandable. the only other thing i can come up with is save money for a lawyer. yes, they are still expensive, but u could always browse around different ones, ask them how much would it be, if they might consider a pay-plan [is that even said like that? i mean when u pay them little by little], etc. in the mean time, as u look around and ask and find out which one would cost less, u can save some money so that some time soon [before those 4 yrs] u can try and switch custody. i'm 20, and as matter of fact my parents are divorced, but custody wasn't a problem [complicated issue, long story short: father has some thing in his brain...illness....disease...god knows wth it is, and has short-term memory loss. he's living with his parents now, they care for him, blah, blah, mom has custody and i have no major problems with her [still clash sometimes bcs she does one or another thing, won't let me do one or another thing, blah blah] but in the end it's an ok thing with her]. anyway, well...that's the only thing i can come up with. if anything else pops into my head anytime soon, or later, i'll let u know. hope it was helpful 3nodding
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Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 1:01 pm
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Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 5:23 pm
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 4:30 pm
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