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Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 1:09 pm
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Okay guys, this one is basically about my Mother
I'm 19, and live in texas, which mean i've legally been and adult for two full years, but the problems with my mom are this
She's upset at me for three reasons
1 - My hair, it's long, and CURLY, and she says, "Adam, brush your hair more often or YOU ARE GETTING IT CUT!"
2 - My money management for reference - i dont get a penny of my money UNLESS i ask MOM first, so i dont see myself managing that ANYTIME soon
3 - I wanna move out, and she says i'm not going to --i've wanted to for a bloomin' while
so, seeing as she's the Landlord of my residence - and yes i do pay rent to live in my own mother's house
and with the fact i'm a legal adult,
what do i do in this situation?
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Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 1:38 pm
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Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 4:39 pm
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Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 5:11 pm
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Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 12:45 pm
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first, i didnt diclose this because i was wit hmy sister as i wrote my starting post,
i have autism and get an SS check in the mail the first of every month, but i cannot cash it unless my mother is with me because of how it is set up
second, about the lie-tatic, sorry DVN, that wouldnt work, mom doesnt give me over $40 to go anywhere, and she always takes my change back
as for my own bank account, i have ajoint one with my mother, she set it up without asking me
as for "lording over her child"
THATS AN UNDERSTATEMENT!, with my mom it's "i give you transportation - you do as i say, how i say"
((i havent the ability to drive a car on my own))
and as for protecting me
she used to stll physically discipline me when i was 18 last Christmas season, she bought a dvd with my money for soem one that SHE KNOWS i'd NEVER buy it for anyone, and i went off on her for not asking me, & she rasied her hand resulting in me having to threaten to call the Police on her for "battery"
so, with all fully revealed, and sorry for not being clear above, we at least see the severity of my "incapableness",
i'm also gonna mention this to my pastors at church and home group tomorow, see if they have any ideas
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Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:47 pm
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Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 2:06 pm
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Aww Heck first, i didnt diclose this because i was wit hmy sister as i wrote my starting post, i have autism and get an SS check in the mail the first of every month, but i cannot cash it unless my mother is with me because of how it is set up second, about the lie-tatic, sorry DVN, that wouldnt work, mom doesnt give me over $40 to go anywhere, and she always takes my change back as for my own bank account, i have ajoint one with my mother, she set it up without asking me as for "lording over her child" THATS AN UNDERSTATEMENT!, with my mom it's "i give you transportation - you do as i say, how i say" ((i havent the ability to drive a car on my own)) and as for protecting me she used to stll physically discipline me when i was 18 last Christmas season, she bought a dvd with my money for soem one that SHE KNOWS i'd NEVER buy it for anyone, and i went off on her for not asking me, & she rasied her hand resulting in me having to threaten to call the Police on her for "battery" so, with all fully revealed, and sorry for not being clear above, we at least see the severity of my "incapableness", i'm also gonna mention this to my pastors at church and home group tomorow, see if they have any ideas
ahh this does clear things up quite a bit. how severe is your disability? I honestly dont know a whole lot about autism, but I do know that it can manifest itself in a variety of ways in different people... in what ways does it hold you back? did you say she physically disciplines you? does she beat you?
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Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 1:03 pm
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as for my autism's hindering me,
i have Asperger's Syndrome of Autism. and mine is high-functioning, theres no reason for me to be ay less able to live on my own, as an independent than there is for anyone
as for "beating" - no, she doesnt "beat" me,
as for the physical discipline, it's like this
i refused to talk to her after she bought the DVD, she started to get angry and i said "i'm sick of not knowing where MY money goes and when it goes there, i wont talk to you!"
she rasied her hadn as tif to slap me, and i retaliated syaing " hit me, and discuss this with the police - i'm a legal adult, and will file battery chrages"
she's doen this ALL my life,
it's one thing to spank/hit a Normal child, but it's another to spank/hit one with a mental/genetic disability, no matter how light or heavy the illness
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Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 7:27 pm
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Aww Heck as for my autism's hindering me, i have Asperger's Syndrome of Autism. and mine is high-functioning, theres no reason for me to be ay less able to live on my own, as an independent than there is for anyone as for "beating" - no, she doesnt "beat" me, as for the physical discipline, it's like this i refused to talk to her after she bought the DVD, she started to get angry and i said "i'm sick of not knowing where MY money goes and when it goes there, i wont talk to you!" she rasied her hadn as tif to slap me, and i retaliated syaing " hit me, and discuss this with the police - i'm a legal adult, and will file battery chrages" she's doen this ALL my life, it's one thing to spank/hit a Normal child, but it's another to spank/hit one with a mental/genetic disability, no matter how light or heavy the illness
I'm seeing a slight inconsistency here. on one hand you tell her you're a legal adult, on the other hand you speak of the difference between hitting a normal 'child' than a disabled 'child'. it might mean nothing, but then again it might mean a great deal concerning the psychology of the issue.
is it that the govt wont let you get a license to drive? I dont know what the restrictions are for Aspergers. IF you see yourself as an adult and not greatly hindered as far as leading an independant life, then get a job, get a bank account, if she wont let you then go to a lawyer. go to someone who will help you with your legal rights. Assert yourself as the adult you profess to be.
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 5:43 am
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 7:40 am
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shani26 I want to help but before i do that i should have more info. I want to try to understand the point of view of your. Does she sit at home taking care of you, or she can work? Does she has troubles with money?
well, she has a good paying job, but our house is honestly in my eyes "comdemned", just last night we lost two or three pipes when the remodeling crew turned the water on after working in the guest bathroom
as for Trouble with money, not at all, she's just a little short on it at times, but not necessarily "troubled", she's onyl short on it cause she wants to be
Calypsophia shani26 Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 5:43 am I want to help but before i do that i should have more info. I want to try to understand the point of view of your. Does she sit at home taking care of you, or she can work? Does she has troubles with money? Calypsophia I'm seeing a slight inconsistency here. on one hand you tell her you're a legal adult, on the other hand you speak of the difference between hitting a normal 'child' than a disabled 'child'. well, my point there is followed up after that line, i've put up with it sicne day one of my life, i've just never had a reason to fight back like i do now
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 12:41 pm
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_-♥-_
Well, like they say, don't act like a teenager towards her. Adults discuss things in a proper manner, so if you're one, you should do it too.
I can understand your situation, and I know people who replied to this thread can too. Frankly, I will say that there are only two things we can think of your situation. It's either you are blessed with a loving and caring mother who wishes for your safety, or the latter which I won't mention.
Almost everything has been said already, so I'm just going to hand you my two cents:
Someday, you will understand.
If life gives you troubles or give you things that are over complicated you just hold on till that day. You will understand everything, when the whole truth shows itself.
For now, you're still young. Enjoy your moments with her. Try to give happy memories for the both of you to remember.
_-♥-_
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Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 4:10 am
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Aww Heck shani26 I want to help but before i do that i should have more info. I want to try to understand the point of view of your. Does she sit at home taking care of you, or she can work? Does she has troubles with money? well, she has a good paying job, but our house is honestly in my eyes "comdemned", just last night we lost two or three pipes when the remodeling crew turned the water on after working in the guest bathroom as for Trouble with money, not at all, she's just a little short on it at times, but not necessarily "troubled", she's onyl short on it cause she wants to be Calypsophia shani26 Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 5:43 am I want to help but before i do that i should have more info. I want to try to understand the point of view of your. Does she sit at home taking care of you, or she can work? Does she has troubles with money? Calypsophia I'm seeing a slight inconsistency here. on one hand you tell her you're a legal adult, on the other hand you speak of the difference between hitting a normal 'child' than a disabled 'child'. well, my point there is followed up after that line, i've put up with it sicne day one of my life, i've just never had a reason to fight back like i do now it really doesnt matter that you see your house that way. actually, it should be more incentive to try to be on your own. what about the rest of what I said?
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Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 7:17 am
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Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 10:32 am
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