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 Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 9:23 pm
Okay, yes I am brand new in this guild. But I seriously need some help. sweatdrop
Okay, so I'm going out with this guy and we've been together for a few months and well. We don't do anything together. We talk to each other ALOT during lunch and stuff. But I'm too shy to hug him or anything.
My friend stole his hoodie one day and wouldn't let him have it back until he hugged me, but that just felt like I was being used.
And earlier today we were holding hands only because my friend got us too. She made us walk back into the school like that. PEOPLE WERE STARING AT US! I felt so weird but totally comfortable...anyways, I want this relationship to go forward but I need a little bit of advice...
Can you guys help, like at all?
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Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 10:52 pm
Well you say you are just a little too shy to hug him or anything. Now I can totally relate to being shy, but you are going out with him so at least you know he likes you. The other thing is even if you are too shy to do those things since he isn't doing them either it might be that he is also shy as well.
In this case I think one of you needs to just give in and try to get closer. You can also talk to him about the issue as well. If you like him then you should talk to him about how you are feeling. I am sure if he cares about you then he will listen and talk it out.
I think if you felt comfortable holding his hand then you should do it more often. It is always scary at first trust me. The key is to try and do it despite the fear of it or shyness. Once you do that you will soon find it easier to get close. That will also solve the whole friends getting you to do these things.
I myself was very afraid to even talk to people in general because I felt no one would like me. The same went for when I found someone I cared about and wanted to be with them. Eventually I worked at it talked about my feelings with said person and it then got a lot easier.
I wish you the best of luck in the relationship and if you ever need some advice or someone just to talk to about things I will be more than happy to do so. biggrin
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Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 5:58 am
Looks like I'm not the only shy person hehe.
Well, it might be better if y'all try to go out together on a weekend. You know, where there aren't so many prying eyes to look at you. In my experience, the park is a good, open space to go to :3
Anyway, the best way to get over shyness is to open up to them emotionally. While you're together, see if you can get him to open up to you and you to him about stuff in life - establish deep levels :3 then you'll feel wayyy more at ease with a hug... hopefully sweatdrop
best of luck ninja
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Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 7:05 am
If you're going out with this guy, at least you know that you are comfortable enough with each other to want to spend time together. You said that holding hands wasn't bad, but I'll admit that public displays of affection are a bit awkward at first.
Maybe if you are both a little shy, you should just spend some quiet time together out of school, perhaps at one of your houses if your parents are ok with leaving you alone for a bit, or just at a quiet public place. Give holding hands a go, and if you enjoy it, you'll naturally want to get closer.
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Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 8:42 am
I think your friend is acting wrong!!! your letting her control your relationship. I think you should talk to her and make her see you feel bad about her attitude. I think she would understand that if she really appreciates your friendship. As for your boyfriend, I think you will have time to know each other, so dont be hasty...
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Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 8:37 pm
Thanks guys, I'm glad that I've gotten some advice. I think it will probably help me a lot. biggrin
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Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 8:19 pm
Okay, I am still extremely shy and whenever I try to get close I just back down since I'm so nervous. I want to hold his hand but he always has his hands in his pockets.
My friend doesn't try to get me to do stuff to often so I think she's getting better at holding herself back from this, what she doesn't realize is how shy I am...
How she put it, is that she is cupid for me, since my boyfriend and I wouldn't even have started to go out if it wasn't for her so I thank her for that.
But it's hard to do stuff outside of school since he's actually not supposed to be dating at all xd Which I find hilarious. We're in Grade 8 if your wondering... But the most we can do is during lunch we always go out to the dock at the pond out back of our school.
And lately I can never think of anything to say...help please?
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Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 9:50 pm
I'm still needing help here.... sweatdrop
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Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 11:46 am
DiSaStRoUs DeMoN CaT Okay, I am still extremely shy and whenever I try to get close I just back down since I'm so nervous. I want to hold his hand but he always has his hands in his pockets. My friend doesn't try to get me to do stuff to often so I think she's getting better at holding herself back from this, what she doesn't realize is how shy I am... How she put it, is that she is cupid for me, since my boyfriend and I wouldn't even have started to go out if it wasn't for her so I thank her for that. But it's hard to do stuff outside of school since he's actually not supposed to be dating at all xd Which I find hilarious. We're in Grade 8 if your wondering... But the most we can do is during lunch we always go out to the dock at the pond out back of our school. And lately I can never think of anything to say...help please?
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Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 1:40 pm
What happen if you try to meet his parents just as a friend, mybe if they like you they will change their minds about dating.
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Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 9:39 pm
shani26 What happen if you try to meet his parents just as a friend, mybe if they like you they will change their minds about dating. uhm yeah...'bout that...I can't even call his house without his parents thinking I'm tormenting him. >_< I mean c'mon, how stupid is that....
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Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 11:19 am
well how old r u? cuz if ur like 12 then just leave it alone ur too young for that anyways -.-
but if ur like 13/14 then just tell him "hey, i wana hold ur hand!"
or if u want to be subtle x] gently brush ur arm against his, maybe he'll get the idea.
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Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 8:58 pm
We're 13, and like I said before...I'm EXTREMELY shy....but I'm gonna see if I can get to school before him tomorrow. He takes the bus and I walk....I have to leave at like 7:10 in the morning to get there befor ehim but oh well. I get up at 6:00 anyways. I almost got to school before him on Friday but my little brother made me leave late. Thank god my little brother is only in grade 4 and isn't to close to being in highschool yet. biggrin
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Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 10:04 pm
Well... get over your shyness. oO
Give him subtle hints, I forgot where I read/saw these tricks from but say something like. "My hands are cold" to get him to hold your hand. But don't do it when it is extremely warm weather. If it doesn't work talk to him. Tell him that this is awkward for you two to not have any public display. Also try to see him a little afterschool.
Also a little adivce is also to not see your boyfriend too much. No offense but love if you see each other too much then it isn't quite as special anymore. It becomes something ordinary and other crap. Its not always good to see each other too often. If you distance yourself a little but don't act cold he might miss you and this might urge him a little. I am sorry if my advice offends you or anyone.
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Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 11:52 pm
DiSaStRoUs DeMoN CaT Okay, yes I am brand new in this guild. But I seriously need some help. sweatdrop Okay, so I'm going out with this guy and we've been together for a few months and well. We don't do anything together. We talk to each other ALOT during lunch and stuff. But I'm too shy to hug him or anything. My friend stole his hoodie one day and wouldn't let him have it back until he hugged me, but that just felt like I was being used. And earlier today we were holding hands only because my friend got us too. She made us walk back into the school like that. PEOPLE WERE STARING AT US! I felt so weird but totally comfortable...anyways, I want this relationship to go forward but I need a little bit of advice... Can you guys help, like at all?
You should only do what YOU want to do in your relationship, not what your friends say you should be doing.
If holding hands with him felt comfortable, then do it, but you might just be the sort of person who likes to hold hands, and hates making a public display of themselves... I know many adults who dont want to hold hands or kiss in public, and it has nothing to do with the actual act of doing it, it is just that they hate other people watching them do it, or they hate doing it in public. Some people think that it is much more special to keep their affection private.
I suggest you not worry about people saying you are too shy, it is not necessary to do things just becasue everyone else does, no matter what age you are... especially when it comes to kissing and sex and things like that. They are much more enjoyable when you feel ready for them.
If you are too shy to hug him in public, let him know when you are in private together, and you can get used to it when you are alone. he is with you because he likes you, so he will not be afraid to hug you or hold your hand, he probably woud enjoy it too.
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