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 Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 12:05 pm
Ok so I just found out yesterday that my husband, who is in the Air Force, is getting deployed to the desert in about 9 days. He'll be gone for 4-6 months. Not something fun that you want to find out right when you get off work....to put it bluntly, I'm scared shitless. Even if he's in a generally safe area, anything can happen.
So to make this topic not completely useless discuss:
Diployment
Do you have any family overseas right now and if so, how are you handling it?
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Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 12:10 pm
just part of the job........
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Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 1:31 pm
My uncle was sent to Iraq and we were all freaked out. I feel your pain, and I'm sorry that this was so sudden.
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Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 1:48 pm
Just go with an "Everything's gonna be all right" attitude. You need to be positive for the both of you, as he will no doubt be. After all, he's going to somewhere that's relatively safe, right? 3nodding
Can't say that I have family abroad, but there are people I love and care about overseas. But I know that one day, I'll see them, when travel becomes an option. However, these people aren't in any kind of military position, so its not like your situation.
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Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 1:51 pm
He's going to be away that long? sad
I've never had someone close to me go away for so long and on something potentially dangerous, but I'd like to think I'd be supportive so that when he/she leaves, he/she can leave without any of my negative feelings on him/her (I think my real reaction would be to lock him/her in the house...). But it's normal to worry so just enjoy his company before he leaves. ^_^ I wish you luck ok.
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Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 3:09 pm
ALL of my family is overseas. But they dont do things that would necessarily put them in danger (well one's a policeman so thats kinda dangerous but not like being deployed to a war zone, and one was in the london bombings but was ok, but that could have happened to any one)
I guess you kind of have to accept that this kind of thing is going to happen, and that by being in the air force he accepts that sad but its hard i know, try not to worry because worry wont solve much ^_^
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Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 11:11 am
It is part of the job, and he accepted that when he joined the air force. I have two friends in the US Army, one is in Iraq right now. Another friend joined the Navy and leaving this June.
Life is just a dangerous thing, in reality you have a chance of anything happening to you anytime, anywhere. I know the fact that he's leaving and going to be far away makes it harder, you can't be there if something happens. But you gotta stay optimistic, it's definitely a scary thing, but just filling your head with things that *could* happen will make things a lot worse. Just imagine if you did that on a day to day basis! O_o It would be hell.
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Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 11:22 am
angel was in iraq for the first year of the war.
he initially was supposed to be over there for three weeks, then it became 6 weeks, then three months, then 6 months, then a year, then 9 months, then back to a year.
rule number one: don't believe a damn thing the military tells you about timetables. they're lying. stressed
rule number two: be cheerful whenever you get to talk to him, even if you sob for hours afterwards.
rule number three: stay busy!!! the first few weeks angel was gone, i was GLUED to the tv watching cnn. i didn't shower, didn't hardly eat, didn't sleep. it was horrible and gut-wrenching and above all, stupid. sweatdrop angel didn't want me pooling in a puddle of misery and nerves on the floor. he wanted me to carry on as best i could until he came home!
rule number four: realize he will be different when he comes home and be prepared for the awkwardness. sweatdrop a lot of wives, when confronted with their "new" husbands, cut and run. give him at least a year of retardedness before making any major decisions. 3nodding cause lord knows angel was a basket-case for a long, long time.
rule number five: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO WAKE HIM WHEN HE COMES HOME AND HAS NIGHT TERRORS. sweatdrop yeah, learned that one the hard way and now my jaw pops all weird when i chew my food thanks to a haymaker angel slammed me with while in the throes of a night terror. sweatdrop
and, to anyone who says "its part of the job", please to be shutting the ******** up. its not helpful. stare
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Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 2:12 pm
bluegrass cat cause lord knows angel was a basket-case for a long, long time. i know that saying its part of the job isnt very helpful, but really no matter what we say its not going to give her much comfort until her husband comes back i suppose
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Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 3:55 pm
Iconised Ghost bluegrass cat cause lord knows angel was a basket-case for a long, long time. i know that saying its part of the job isnt very helpful, but really no matter what we say its not going to give her much comfort until her husband comes back i suppose lol, hard to imagine, right? he was actually MUCH WORSE when he first got back... i did what i could. 3nodding and i know nothing we can say will comfort her all that much, but saying "its part of the job" is just incredibly irritating and insulting to most service members and their families ((at least the peeps i know and that was like, half of fort riley)). i mean, if you see a firefighter's wife who's all upset that he's gone rushing into a burning building, you wouldn't say to her "well, its part of the job!" would you? hellz no. idk why people think its okay to say that to soldiers' spouses. confused
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Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 4:12 pm
I concur with cat; though it might be part of the job, they already know that, but they're still entitled to worry about them. The job after they have gone; be it into a shoot-out as a police officer, a burning building as a firefighter, or a dogfight as a fighter pilot, is to comfort them while they're gone. "Its part of the job" is very counter-productive. almost heartless.
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Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 4:24 pm
Kitsukage I concur with cat; though it might be part of the job, they already know that, but they're still entitled to worry about them. The job after they have gone; be it into a shoot-out as a police officer, a burning building as a firefighter, or a dogfight as a fighter pilot, is to comfort them while they're gone. "Its part of the job" is very counter-productive. almost heartless. yes, thank you! exactly what i was trying to say! heart and i'm not talking hypothetically it might annoy them, i'm speaking from experience where the idiot-side of my family all tried to say that and i wanted to kick their asses for it. because when you say "its part of the job" what the person hears is "stop whining, you knew this was going to happen!" its ******** up and just rude, yo. stare
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Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 4:44 pm
Not a problem. ^^ I was actually considering not posting in this topic, because of jfm's post, but I thought I'd post and avoid saying anything about it, but it seems to be a more common phrase than I'd anticipated.
I've never experienced anything like this, and hopefully, I never will, but I can understand the worry and the sadness that one has when someone goes to a potentially dangerous place; negativity takes over, and to snap them out of it, they need to hear the positives. That phrase is worse than a negative, because it shows what you said; irritation because of the worry said person is going through. Likely spiralling them into an even deeper worry, or even depression, because no one cares. Those someone talks to about these things is out of need for comfort; their mentality depends on it.
..and sorry to say, but your family don't really sound like the best of people for comfort, do they? Not that I can say much better for mine.. after my nan passed on, one of my Uncles took over everything; even the role of Next of Kin, which was actually supposed to be my other Uncle. On top of that, my Aunt sided with him, took control of the Cremation service, put stuff into it almost only about their own children, (not making mention about my being the first in the family to get into Uni, which my Nan openly said she was very very proud of) and even went against her wishes of being cremated and having her ashes scattered, and just buried her ashes in a convenient place for themselves to visit. */venting*
So really, I'm talking from experience, about uncaring family members, at least. XD;
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Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 5:25 pm
bluegrass cat Kitsukage I concur with cat; though it might be part of the job, they already know that, but they're still entitled to worry about them. The job after they have gone; be it into a shoot-out as a police officer, a burning building as a firefighter, or a dogfight as a fighter pilot, is to comfort them while they're gone. "Its part of the job" is very counter-productive. almost heartless. yes, thank you! exactly what i was trying to say! heart and i'm not talking hypothetically it might annoy them, i'm speaking from experience where the idiot-side of my family all tried to say that and i wanted to kick their asses for it. because when you say "its part of the job" what the person hears is "stop whining, you knew this was going to happen!" its ******** up and just rude, yo. stare who said i wasn't a rude person? if being horridly blunt counts as rude, then, i guess im in that category.
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Posted: Sat May 24, 2008 6:42 pm
I joined gaia a little while after I got back from Iraq. I guess it was kind of therapy in some way.
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