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 Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 6:55 am
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 8:23 am
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Oh man, Than >.> You made this difficult for me. I could be completly logical about this and go with my routine of "Shoot 'em in the head" but what are my chances of finding a gun and it having bullets?
So in this scenario of the world outbreaking with zombies, it probably be morning and I'd be taking a shower. You know, it's just Ace's luck for her to be shaving her legs and a ******** zombie comes out of nowhere. Ace would of course, be scared shitless, cut herself shaving and then, as the zombie would be grabbing her ~ a song would cut on from the radio. A song so awesome that zombie would stop in its tracks for Ace to grab her weapon of choice - a towel! The towel refrencing from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but of course the book leaving out the fact that the towel is a dealy weapon - one which you can cause immense pain in a boy's locker room.
Using her Indian Jones-like qualities, she'd crack the towel like a bull whip and the zombie's head wdould go flying off. As we all know that when a woman has cut her legs shaving she becomes extremly pissed, almost to the extent that she's on her period, and possess in-human strength.
With this one zombie defeated, Ace screams out in victory (as well as revealing her song), "YOU JUST GOT RICKROLLED, b***h."
Weapon - Towel
Song - Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up
Place - In the shower
Time - Morning, probably around seven as Ace is a 'tard and likes to get up that early
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:18 am
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So, since I'm almost always sitting at my computer, since I have yet to get a job, I'd be sitting in my laundry room (Yeah, yeah. Only place I can get internet. Better than sitting on the toilet) It would also be evening. So I'd be sitting with my back to the door, in the dark, of course. Out of the corner of my eye, I'd see someone in the reflection of the mirror walking up behind me. Assuming that it was my dad, I'd swing my arm out to punch him and say "Leave me alone, you r-tard." When with horror, I bring my arm back.. AND IT'S GONE! I look at it for a moment, spurting a shot of blood in time to my heart beat, and I look behind me only to see the cliche rotting flesh-ridden zombie standing behind me! Of course, I just lost my arm. I was also losing a lot of blood. So what's an armless hero to do? Scream my ******** head off. So much so that it stops nibbling on the arm that he had just severed clean off my body, to look at me (I think it was looking at me) and just stare. Suddenly, the song on Pandora changed, and I noticed that it was "Deer Dance" from System of a Down. My first thought - Ooh, I like this song! My mind currently numb to the excruciating pain that was a stub of a left arm, I reach for the only weapon available. A Drumstick™ ice cream cone! I quickly, and rather dexterously for only have one harm, open it, and drive that pointy end straight into the forehead of my assailant! The zombie stumbled for a second, as the chocolate tip slowly started melting into his rotting brain. Wondering if I had won, I suddenly began to form a blood lust. A blood lust so fierce, after a possibly mortal injury, I start breathing heavy, my rock hard abs flexing, my neck veins all protruding, I yell "THIS IS LAUNDRY ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!" And kick the zombie square in the chest. My kick so powerful that it sends a shockwave through the zombie's body which causes it to explode.
The end. O: I Suck at this xD I don't even care anymore.
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:31 am
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:33 am
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:44 am
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:56 am
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 10:05 am
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 10:44 am
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 7:36 pm
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In the middle of the night, I am suddenly awoken to the urge of my video gaming addiction. The sweat starts to build, my body yearns. I get out of the bed in my boxers and run straight out into the living room. I flip on the tv, press powa on the PS3, and grab my glorious guitar controller. I didn't bother to put on the strap. As the difficulty for the songs appear, I heard the back glass door being smashed to pieces.
"Ho Shi-"
Before I could finish the t, the zombie came in, moaning and shuffling his feet as blood dripped from his glass filled wounds. His feet dragged on the floor, hands aimed at my neck. As soon as he was in front of me, I shouted. "Halt!"
The zombie stood still and frowned. "What?! I don't have time for this! I've got a civilization to ruin."
"Just give me a moment."
I quickly selected Expert mode and picked the glorious difficult song of Fire and Flames! I tossed him the controller, "I haven't seen anyone I know beat this, give it a try."
He eyed the controller and shrugged, "Alright, but after this I'm eating you." As soon as the gems hit the screen, his undead fingers flew in a furry of gaming mastery. He jumped and flailed and yelled as he majesticly played through the night. But, to his dismay, as he hit the last beautiful note, his fingers exploded.
"Aww s**t."
"Well, sucks to be you b***h."
I took the Guitar controller and swung at his head, sending it through the wall, and into the night.
* Guitar Hero Guitar
* Fire and the Flames - Dragonforce
* Living Room
* 3:33 am
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 8:22 pm
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So I'm in my bedroom, my parents had woken me up early so I could start getting the house ready for our upcoming guests, who would be staying for the weekend. So I'm picking up my things and moving them to the living room, cause of course they're staying in my room! HURRAY! So while my parents are out buying food I decide to have a bit of fun so I turn on the radio and "I believe in a thing called love" by The Darkness is on so I desperately try to change it and SURPRISE! The song is being played on every freaking radio station (This has happen to me before) , so I check AM and a man is freaking out about aliens being spotted around our neighborhood. I turn the radio off and check the news and I accidentally push 47 instead of channel 48 so of course VH1 is playing the "I believe in a thing called love" video, I change the channel and CNN is also freaking out about aliens. The lady on the news warns us to take whatever precautions we can. I lock myself in my room and call my parents, but nothing, I turn my t.v. on and now a man is listing where the aliens have been spotted, but before I can see if my street is on the list the lights go out. It's not completely dark since it's morning, but I stupidly leave my room cause my curiosity is terrible. There in my living room a distorted figure the lights come back, I scream:"CHUPACABRAAAAAAAA!" and the t.v. man responds: "NO, IT'S ALIENS FOOL!" So before it takes me I duck behind the couch and look around frantically for a weapon, all I see are my Christmas boots so I grab them and trow them at the alien's head and scream: "TASTE MY MIGHTY JOLLY BOOTS OF DOOM, CHUPACABRA!" "ALIEN!", the man on the t.v. corrects. "Whatever", I reply running for the door and accidentally stepping on the remote changing the channel to VH1 and amazingly "I believe in a thing called love" is still playing. The alien dizzy from my earlier attack can't stand the music and pushes me away from the door running away screeching. THE END!
Dang that's not funny at all, but I really wanted to write it down. XD
Song: I believe in a thing called love by The Darkness
Place: Bedroom/living room
Time: 5 in the freaking morning
Weapon: Jolly boots of doom
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:20 pm
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 11:08 pm
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 11:09 pm
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Time: about 2am, when I've just gotten a big head ache, will fail to acomplish much more, and an in a hole(as name by my mom)(my bedroom with computer). On the one day a month I bother to have music blasting (when watching anime on the computer sound is lower due to random screams). Zombies were unleashed either strategically at about 11pm when the news people were already asleep, or they got out at 12, when the guards were asleep after watching the news.
Song: Technically one of about 7 that I have on my computer's playlist. Choices: Ocean Ave, Cold, 1985, Just like you, meant to live, the rock show, or the song Song "schwarzweiß" by Haruka Shimotsuki I seperated from an HNK amv. The HNK one would be funnier for Trev and me, but for those who don't know HNK, I'll just go with meant to live just because the title would fit well.
Place: 'The hole' AKA my room, oblivious to all, even dogs and fighting cats, and that's even before music.
Weapon: Read story
Now, here I am, oblivious. The reason the music is on, and blasting my poor little tape-deck stereo speakers that are hooked in the computer is most likely a mental state of being pissed. Good thing here, is that the music can't make me much more oblivious, and being pissed will be the only thing going for me.
Anywho, I'm pretending to put desk/table stuff away, or cutting squares of paper, or folding cranes, or refolding cranes I improperly made when I was figuring it out. (Things I do when waiting for s**t to load.) I probably have 20+ tabs open, at about 2am it's likely a mess of guild threads, about half from this guild. Maybe a few tabs of something else, non-Gaia or just non-GGN on Gaia. Maybe even another window with 20+ tabs of whatever. So here I am, totally preoccupied and distracted, with just about nothing. The dog, who claimed my bed because he thought I'd go to sleep soon runs off the bed, out of my room, barking a few seconds later. *is oblivious* I might have noticed him getting up, just to forget before his tail was out of my room.
So, me sitting, meant to live blasting (not that loud though sad but as loud as I can get it) and the dog howling and barking. My parents, asleep for their 2-4 hours (I need 9-10 ******** hours >.> ) will take about 5 minutes just to notice... then wait 5 more before even telling the dog to shut up, 5-10 after that to start getting up, and 5 to exit their room after that. (They are, surprisingly quick, when they aren't woken up early.) So I'm alone.
Just to keep this moving, lets just pretend I actually noticed the dog (large, and can be loud) in only around 3 minutes. -screams dog's name- "SHUT - UP" (like a screamed whine). Gets up when nothing happens. Doesn't see dog in living room standing on couch barking out windows (front door), so he must be at the side door in the garage-made-into-a-playroom-slash-office-slash-junk-room, on that couch, barking out that window, near that door. *almost unheard screandoor creak, then quiet reg-door's doorknob turn*
(Ever seen the birds? Or read it? Here's where it gets good)
*pound-screech* *crash* The door didn't open, but did budge, emitting a loud a** screech I would have noticed even in my previous trance. The crash being the screen door slamming it's s**t hard into some poor saps' arm or ankle. crying
Screen door opens again and the zombie starts throwing itself on door with right shoulder, holding the knob with right hand, and holding screen door open with left arm and hand. (hence 'the birds' reference)
It opens, but right arm falls off at the shoulder. Dog runs to greet, sniffs arm, then tries to descide to jump on guest, run out oddly open doors, or just to try both then go emo when he gets hit by the door.
I, by now, am half hiding where the house meets the garrage-room thing, will a clear view, and not well hidden. So, I, by the time the zombie realizes the dog is busy thinking, and the dog is about ready to make up his mind, I finally scream. Unlikely to get a response until the second or third time, but with the slim chance of a parental reaction I'll explain that. Mom would yell what, then fall unconscious again. >.<
So, I stand there, and glance around. I think if the dog will help, then I laugh (not out loud) about how he'd help me about as much as he gives me attention when someone else is here (none). So I sigh "CLOSE THE DOOR!, THE DOG WILL GET OUT" but since it's late, and I just screamed, it's not very loud, just forcefull. THe zombie, with no better ideas takes a step and the screen door slams shut with a few bounces. Slow-reflex zombie looses his left hand.
(still looking for weapon) " -dog's name- damnit! WTF? don't try to lick, hump, or shove plushie squeeky toys at the ******** ... thing!"
I'd close my eyes sigh, then jump, opening my eyes as I remember the whole home intruding zombie. EEP! (to self) I'd setp back, grab a chair and drag it to the doorway I was in. Zombie would look at me and I'd push chair down stairs, sounds muffled by carpet on the cement, and totally missing anything, except clipping an air hockey table. "DAmn" *resits urge to fix leg on table* Looks to shelf near doorway, as the dog pisses on the zombie's leg. TAkes and old Vtech laptop from shelf (the kind to tech kids, that look like lappys. Oh, BTW song can't be heard here. Anyway, chuck that, miss by a mile, bounces off poor air hockey table, I wince, the dog winces and cowers.
I try the heavy typewriter (one of the more flat ones that aren't so old) and lug that at the zombie, which had bothered to walk closer in my... delays... so the typewriter hits... since I basically just dropped it on its head. :/
Zombie falls, and re-dies since lacking two hands, one arm and being peed on, plus being in the middle of ******** nowhere, mostly ignored, eh.. let's just say it died of laughing at my pathetic strength plus aim. (and dog)
PS I know it's technically more than one weapon used, but unless you count the dog only one even hit...
Also, most of that s**t is rather actual (well apart from the zombie and the right now, and that right now there is no music). But who the hell am I kidding? The dog would prepare me on a platter for the zombie, and I'm too much of an oblivious wimp to do anything.
But if I did have any warning, kid next door has real guns, bb guns, paintball, knows which dogs in the area are worth a s**t, and he occasionally has a nice arsonal of fireworks. OH!! near that garage room (though it to another room) has a bag of roman candles and bottle rockets we never use, and smoking parents=lighters everywhere... but I'd have to get past the first zombie first, which would never happen.
~Metalic_Noodles |
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